Month: December 2021

Categories
Four Questions

The Four Questions Are Wearing a Yarmulke

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is NOT wearing shorts and a polo shirt! He’s wearing a suit and tie for a bat mitzvah today. Sorry fellas, all this hotness is spoken for.

What is making Dave happy today? Dave is excited to see his good friends and celebrate their daughter’s success.

What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says to keep doing good and kind things, and don’t get discouraged if they aren’t all successful. You can’t control the outcome.

Did Dave read anything particularly meaningful or touching today? Dave found this passage about grieving in the Reform prayerbook:

WHEN I DIE give what’s left of me away
to children and old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
cry for your brother walking the street beside you.
And when you need me, put your arms around anyone
and give them what you need to give me.


I want to leave you something,
something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,
and if you cannot give me away,
at least let me live in your eyes and not in your mind.

You can love me best by letting hands touch hands,
and by letting go of children that need to be free.
Love doesn’t die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of me is love,
give me away.

Mishkan T’filah: A Reform Siddur
Categories
Four Questions

The Four Questions Are on the Road Again

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing (aren’t you sick of this?) a polo shirt and shorts. Tomorrow the answer will be different!

What is making Dave happy today? Dave did a road trip today.

What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says to not be judgmental if you’re distracted a lot. Just notice that your mind has wandered and then get back to the issue at hand. Blaming your brain for getting distracted is like blaming your dog for barking. That’s just what brains and dogs do.

How bad was the traffic on Dave’s road trip? Dave encountered three back-ups (all caused by accidents) in the first 30 minutes after merging onto I-75.

Categories
Four Questions

Wherefore Art Thou, The Four Questions?

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing — this will come as a shock — a polo shirt and shorts.

What is making Dave happy today? Dave got to spend lots of pop-and-pup time with the doggos.

What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave recently discovered the following Reddit exchange. He doesn’t know how old it is.

Why hasn’t Dave started watching Hawkeye yet? Dave still needs to watch Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings before he can move along to the next Marvel offering.

Categories
Four Questions

Don’t Call The Four Questions a Pizza

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing his work-from-home uniform: a polo shirt and shorts.

What is making Dave happy today? Dave went for a morning run for the first time in a while. Here’s photographic proof:

What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says don’t be afraid to ask for what you need.

What did Dave eat for dinner? Dave and the Complimentary Spouse had scachatta, a Cuban-Italian dish that he’s never seen outside of Tampa. Here’s what you need to know about scachatta:

  • It looks a lot like pizza
  • It tastes a lot like pizza
  • Don’t call it pizza

Another thing you need to know: Scachatta is eaten at room temperature. Don’t heat it up.

Categories
Whatnot

The Cards Are Stacked Against Us

Hi there, greeting card companies!

There are millions of Jews in the United States1, and I’m willing to bet that nearly all of us celebrate Hanukkah in some fashion. Why, then, do you put so little time and effort into Hanukkah cards? Every year, without fail, we’re disappointed to go to the store and discover the same thing:

  • There are about a dozen cards to choose from, if you’re lucky.
  • The cards are the same ones from last year, and the year before that, and the one before that, and … you get the idea.

Here’s a photo of the Hanukkah cards available at a store near me. The red checkmarks denote cards I’ve purchased at least once in the past. The green checkmarks are reruns of cards I’m pretty sure I’ve seen before.

This year, I announced to my friends and family that I’m not buying Hanukkah cards. It’s simply embarrassing to give people the same cards over and over again. It’s as impersonal and thoughtless as regifting — but, unlike regifting, you have to fork over money. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve given the Complimentary Spouse the “Happy Llamakah” card — which I thought was clever the first time I saw it years ago.2

So, greeting card companies, put in the work and show us something new next year. The best present you can give this mensch next Hanukkah is a few new cards to choose from!

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1 The Pew Research Center says there are 5.8 million American adults that identify as Jewish, plus 1.8 million children being raised Jewish in some form.3

2 Lucy and Linus, of course, get the card with the dachshund menorah each year.

3 Some back-of-the-envelope math: If 7.6 million Jews give a card each night of Hanukkah, and the average retail price is $3 a card, that’s $182.4 million in sales.