Category: Entertainment

The Complimentary Spouse and I are at the Jobsite Theater tonight to see Lizzie, a rock musical about axe murderer Lizzie Borden.

I’d be neglecting my responsibilities as the world’s most cromulent Simpsons expert if I didn’t point out that the Simpsons did it first.

You may also remember that Lizzie was part of the Jury of the Damned.

A sharp axe and a sharp legal mind. What else do you need?

The first CD I ever bought was Born in the U.S.A. by Bruce Springsteen. It was 1985, and I got it when I purchased my Sony Discman from the small electronics store on our High Street. As an American kid living in England, I didn’t know much about Bruce Springsteen. Still, I had heard a few people in school talking about him, and the album cover seemed more patriotic than a bald eagle soaring past Mount Rushmore while firing an AK-47 and drinking a Coke.

I got a second CD that day: Paul Young’s The Secret of Association. Unlike Springsteen, I knew all about Young. He was well-known in the U.K., and the album was No. 1 on the charts. I still remember skipping the syrupy “Every Time You Go Away” — the biggest hit from the album — to get to the faster-paced “I’m Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down.”

So, as you’ve probably figured out by now, I listened to Young way more than Springsteen. But Springsteen had a longer-lasting impact. I’ve bought every album since Born in the U.S.A. I dipped into his older songs, like “Thunder Road,” “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out,” and “Atlantic City.” I learned to appreciate both the high-energy rock songs and the slower, more intimate ones.

In 2023, I have no idea what Young is doing, but I know exactly what Springsteen is up to: Last night, he kicked off his first tour in six years — right here in Tampa.

Now, I don’t consider myself a big Springsteen fan. I enjoy his music and recognize his artistry, but I don’t know all the songs. I only know a handful of lyrics. And if you asked me which song came from which album, I’d probably give you the wrong answer every time.

Nevertheless, I didn’t think twice about getting tickets. I saw Springsteen in concert once before — it was right after The Rising was released — so I know what a dynamic performer he is. And the Complimentary Spouse had never seen him live. Many of our friends got tickets. And my cousins’ husband, a die-hard fan, was going to fly down from New York to see the show. It wasn’t just going to be a concert — it was shaping up to be a shared cultural experience.

Springsteen took the stage at 8 p.m. and played for nearly three hours without a break. He opened with “No Surrender,” and I couldn’t help but wonder if a song about staying strong in the face of adversity was a deliberate choice in a state where people’s rights and dignity are under attack. Perhaps “No Surrender” should be our new rallying cry!

I was surprised at how many songs I couldn’t recognize. As I said, I’m not the biggest Springsteen fan. But I’m a fan nonetheless, and I’ve heard his music quite a bit. When you’re dealing with an artist whose career spans several decades, a casual listener will miss a few things.

When I knew a song, I felt alive and engaged. When I didn’t, it was a weird experience — everyone around me was dancing and singing along, and I felt like a novice among experts. I was in a 400-level course when I didn’t even pass the 100-level prerequisite.

Springsteen’s cover of the Commodores’ “Night Shift” was exceptional. He reclaimed “Because the Night” from 10,000 Maniacs. And “The Rising,” performed live, gave me chills.

Springsteen saved the best for last. For the encore, they turned on the house lights and went through a whole bunch of crowd-pleasers, including “Rosalita,” “Dancing in the Dark,” and “Glory Days.”¹

For the last song, the house lights went dark again and the other performers left the stage. With just a guitar and a harmonica, Springsteen performed “I’ll See You in My Dreams.” It’s about love, loss, and death — themes worth exploring when you’re a 73-year-old man. It was a quiet yet powerful way to end the evening.

Did last night’s concert convert me to the Church of Springsteen? Not really. I’ll always be a fan, but never a rabid one. But I walked away more in awe of the man and his music than before. And, once the ringing in my ears goes away, I’m eager to explore more of his work.

That CD is long gone, but Springsteen is still here. And that makes me thankful.

Now let’s check out some photos!

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¹ I have come to dislike “Glory Days.” A lot. The song celebrates the joy of being in high school and implies that life goes downhill after you graduate. No LGBTQ person I know looks back at high school fondly. If we weren’t being tormented, we were sacrificing our mental health to conceal who we were. Those were other people’s glory days, not ours.

In other words, the world Springsteen is describing doesn’t seem to have people like me in it.

I’m only harping on “Glory Days” because it’s top of mind. I think this way about a lot of things these days. At my age, it’s unsettling to look back at the cultural touchstones of my youth and discover I was invisible in them.

This is in no way a knock on Springsteen. He is an ally, and I like that he’s authentic and finds inspiration in his personal journey. This has nothing to do with what he wrote. It’s about the way it makes me feel.

Plus, plenty of other songs don’t reflect my life experiences. After all, I’ve never left a cake in the rain, and yet I love “MacArthur Park.”

Here are a few thoughts about James Bond theme songs. They’re in no particular order because, try as I might, I find it very hard to rank my favorites.

You can’t talk about Bond songs without praising “A View to a Kill” by Duran Duran. This one holds a special place in my heart because it was the first Bond song by a band I grew up with. I’m not knocking Paul McCartney and Shirley Bassey and all the rest, but they were artists that belonged to previous generations. I bought Duran Duran tapes. I listened to Duran Duran songs on the radio. I tuned in to watch Duran Duran on Top of the Pops. “A View to a Kill” was the first time a Bond theme song seemed targeted to me.

And let’s not forget that the video for “A View to a Kill” is one of the coolest ones ever. Simon LeBon looking hot in a beret. The Eiffel Tower. Walkmen. Flying cameras. Stuff blowing up. Who wouldn’t love it!?

A-Ha’s “The Living Daylights” is another Bond song I enjoy, and the reason is similar — A-Ha is band I grew up with. They’re best known for “Take on Me,” but I think this song is richer and more complex.

I also enjoy “The World Is not Enough” because it comes from Garbage, another GenX favorite. It’s a slick, orchestrated song with a bit of a grunge mentality and impressive vocals by Shirley Manson.

No gay man would leave Madonna’s “Die Another Day” off his list because, you know, it’s Madonna. The video is cinematic and tells a story. You can tell Madonna was deep into the Kabbalah stuff when she made it.

“Live and Let Die” is simply a great song, period, and a masterpiece by Paul McCartney.¹ It’s all over the place in the best possible way. What a shame about the faux blacksploitation shitshow of a movie.

Believe it or not, I much prefer Guns N’ Roses’ version of “Live and Let Die” to McCartney’s. I think that Axl Rose’s rough voice and the rock approach give it a raw edge that simply sounds better.

Shirley Bassey’s “Goldfinger” is big, brassy, and bold — with just a hint of grit. It simply works on all levels.

“Goldfinger” is such an iconic song that it, of course, has been parodied by the Simpsons. It comes from the Season 8 episode “You Only Move Twice,” which is just magnificent.

One of my favorite scenes from that episode is a parody of the laser scene from “Goldfinger.”

Adele’s “Skyfall” is perfection. It’s haunting and dramatic, yet somehow still feels intimate.

Here’s the whole Bond playlist. Enjoy it with a martini. You can stir the martini if you’d like. I won’t tell anyone.

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¹ In Goldfinger, Bond disses Paul McCartney’s best-known band: “That’s just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs.”

Why hadn’t I figured this out before?

As far as I know, this is the only overlap between the Star Wars universe and 6151 Richmond Street in Miami. However, there are a few times when Dorothy (Bea Arthur’s character) shows she’s aware of my other great sci-fi love, Star Trek.

In one episode, Dorothy tells Blanche, who was sitting under a hairdryer, that she looks “like something that came out of the air duct of the starship Enterprise.”

In another, she and Rose have the following exchange after being informed the UFO they saw was really an airplane:

Rose: What are you doing, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Oh, looking at the stars. Pondering the universe.

Rose: I’ve been doing the same thing, thinking how wonderful it would be if there really were aliens. Maybe it’d be just like “Cocoon,” and they’d take us away and we’d never grow old.

Dorothy: See, I don’t know. I like my life. I mean, I’m not president or anything. I’m just a teacher. A substitute teacher. A divorced substitute teacher, who can’t even afford her own place to live. Beam me up!

See? Dorothy knows all about transporters.

The sci-fi connection doesn’t end there. Bea Arthur was also a guest star on one of my favorite episodes of Futurama, playing the mighty Femputer in “Amazon Women in the Mood.”

I’m amused to think about Bea Arthur, a professional actress, in a recording studio, perfecting her delivery for lines like “Have you any idea how it feels to be a fembot living in a manbot’s manputer’s world?” It just shows there was nothing in the comedy world she couldn’t slay, whether it was a substitute teacher or a supercomputer.

Bea Arthur as a Golden Girl and a goddess of sci-fi? That definitely femputes!¹

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¹ I just remembered Rue McClanahan had a small role in Starship Troopers. Someone please, please, please tell me that Betty White was the diva beneath all the blue paint in The Fifth Element.