The secret to living a meaningful, compassionate, and honorable life can be found in the Grand Ole Opry gift store. It’s only four words long and printed on a coffee mug that costs $20.
It’s this: “What would Dolly do?”
Or, if you’d rather get the T-shirt, “W.W.D.D.?”
Dolly, of course, is Dolly Parton, who turns 79 today. She isn’t as famous as the guy who inspired the original “What would fill-in-the-blank do?” merch,1 whose birthday was celebrated just a few weeks ago.2
I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about souvenirs, unless you’re counting my postdoctorate thesis, “I Got Bourbon Faced on Shit Street: The Semiotics of T-Shirts and Tourism in Post-Katrina New Orleans.”
But I think it’s worth asking why Dolly would (get it?) get the initialism treatment. What makes her worthy of W.W.D.D.?
I believe it’s because “What would Dolly do?” doesn’t actually tell people what to do. It just asks us to make empathy and optimism the default settings when we actually do it.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Instead, let’s get out of the Grand Ole Opry gift store and head to our seats.
There Ain’t No Party Like a Dolly Party, Even
“Wait,” I can hear you saying. “You were at the Grand Ole Opry?”
Indeed, I was. The Complimentary Spouse and I are in Nashville, Tenn., for a short vacation.3 While we’re not big fans of country music, we couldn’t turn down the opportunity to see “Opry Goes Dolly,” a concert in her honor the day before her birthday.
Now I hear you screaming, “YOU SAW DOLLY PARTON!?!?” No, we didn’t. It was in her honor, as I just said. And stop shouting. This is a blog, sir, not a Wendy’s.
The musicians did more than cover Dolly’s best-known songs. They told stories of what Dolly had done for them and how she had influenced their lives and music.
Some examples:
Madeline Edwards put Dolly in the middle of an ersatz holy trinity.
Bill Anderson sent Dolly an early version of a song a few years ago, thinking she might want to sing on it. She responded by sending back her part, fully recorded and ready to use. The song was nominated for a Grammy.
Rhonda Vincent reached out through the usual network of agents and studio executives for permission to record a bluegrass version of one of Dolly’s songs. Dolly called Rhonda directly and offered up a different song that was just dying for a fiddle-and-banjo makeover.
The result:
The Answer, My Friend, Is Rhinestonin’ in the Wind
The musicians have had their say. Now it’s my turn. Because, you know, it’s my blog.
“What would Dolly do?” works because it’s a framework for thinking about how to act with purpose and meaning. It’s not abstract like philosophy or prescriptive like religion. It doesn’t promise any rewards for doing what Dolly would do, nor does it threaten to punish you for doing something different.
“What would Dolly do?” doesn’t take away our power, agency, or accountability. And who would want to give up those things?
Remember, it’s better to forge your own path imperfectly than follow someone else’s perfectly.4
Why Dolly?
Dolly has created a persona that most people can admire — she greets everyone with open arms, listens sympathetically, comforts us when we’re sad, and always steers us back to a place of joy. Her philanthropic efforts are legendary. She’s rich, famous, and successful, but those are not the things that win us over.
When we look at Dolly, we can envision the best version of ourselves. She’s someone we like. And someone we hope likes us back.
That’s why there’s no “What would Elton John do?” mug. He’s an iconic diva, but certainly not someone we’d turn to for help with decisions small and large. Also …
- Barbra: I already have a Jewish mother.
- Cher: She seems erratic. Have you seen her tweets?
- Bono: Actually, he’d have great ideas, but not ones the ordinary person could use. I, for one, do not have the secretary-general of the United Nations on speed dial.
- Judy: She’d provide terrible advice. Also, she’s dead.5
Dolly For All
Here’s where it gets interesting: Dolly’s persona is about as unobjectionable as vanilla pudding. The bowl might be covered in rhinestones, but what’s inside is quite bland. Let’s face it: a general message of love and respect isn’t controversial. At least it isn’t today. Things might be very different in 24 hours.
It’s easy to fault Dolly for eluding politics and other dicey issues with folksy humor and humility. Not all of us have the luxury of tap dancing around controversy. But we should also praise Dolly for projecting a persona with enough blank spots that we can color in what we want.
How many other gay icons are also beloved by fundamentalist Christians?6 Zero. We turn to Dolly for inspiration, not hot takes on sensitive issues. Our enemies do the same. And just knowing that two diametrically opposed groups are seeking silence, wisdom, or joy from the same individual means we have at least one point of familiarity when it’s time to talk.
What Would Dave Do … to Wrap Up This Post
Asking ourselves, “What would Dolly do?” probably won’t change the world — at least not in the short term. But it can impact our lives and the lives of those around us because it makes empathy and optimism our default settings for decision-making and action.
As Dolly said, “We cannot adjust the wind, but we can set the sails.”
Wallowing in pity? Dolly says to go to that party two doors down.
Need to tell someone it’s over? Dolly says to tell them you will always love them.
Feeling unmotivated? Dolly says to stumble to the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of ambition.
Despairing because, you know, tomorrow is Monday, Jan. 20, 2025? Dolly says we’ll eventually see the light of a clear blue morning.
It’s been a long dark night
And I’ve been a waitin’ for the morning
It’s been a long hard fight
But I see a brand new day a dawning
I’ve been looking for the sunshine
You know I ain’t seen it in so long
But everything’s gonna work out just fine
And everything’s gonna be all right
That’s been all wrong
W.F.W.D.W.? (What Footnotes Would Dolly Write?)
- Available for purchase wherever virtue signaling is sold. ↩︎
- This makes them both Capricorns. ↩︎
- Not to get away from the state where all our exes live. ↩︎
- This comes from the Bhagavad Gita, an ancient Hindu scripture that, to my knowledge, has never been nominated for a Country Music Association award. ↩︎
- That’s not to minimize the role Judy’s persona plays in gay culture, which I’ve written about here. And, unlike Judy, Dolly has never been linked to a suspected attempt to infiltrate the military. ↩︎
- Dolly has an affinity with drag queens: “If I hadn’t been a woman, I’d be a drag queen for sure. I like all that flair and I’d be dressing up in them high heels and putting on the big hair. I’d be like RuPaul.” ↩︎