The worst way to travel through Madrid is crammed in the family car as your mother plays the goddamn Les Misérables cassette for the three thousandth time and your little brothers jostle each other in a way that’s not annoying enough to merit a parental reprimand but too annoying to ignore.
Or so I’ve heard.
A much better way is to lace up your sneakers and take a guided running tour with John from LocalRunGuide. Our five-mile run last Friday didn’t take me anywhere new—this is a city I know well—but allowed me to experience familiar places in a new way. Strolling to Retiro is easy. Running there is an accomplishment.
The Journey of 4.8 Miles Begins With a Single Step
John and I set off at 7:30 a.m. from the Puerta del Sol, the very center of Spain—symbolically and geographically.1 We swapped expat stories as we headed west toward the palace: He’s from South Africa but moved here so his wife could take a job and be closer to her family. He now lives not far from where I used to.
We had no reason to stop at the palace—Felipe and Letizia weren’t expecting us—so we continued on to Plaza Mayor.
When we arrived, I realized I hadn’t yet taken any photos. I’m glad I remembered. By law, every person visiting Madrid must pose for at least one photo with the statue of Felipe III.2 If you forget the first time, you just pay a fine. If you forget again, you face a month in jail. If you get a third strike, you’ll receive the harshest punishment meted out by the Spanish judicial system—they send you to Barcelona.
Come to Papa
We then wound through the Barrio de las Letras and paused in front of the Cervecia Alemana. Alas, it was too early for a drink. But if the place weren’t closed, I wouldn’t have noticed the wooden persianas—they are usually made of metal.3
He asked, “Do you know which famous American journalist used to drink here?”
Famous American? Madrid? Part of Spanish history? Known for heavy drinking? I knew the answer right away: Ron Burgundy!
Stay classy, Madrid.
Kidding. I know it was Ernest “Papa Smurf” Hemingway, who came to Spain as a war correspondent and later took up the cause against Francisco Franco, which was the inspiration for his 1977 disco hit, “Macho Man.”4
Prado, the Park, and My Dad’s Office
We headed east, passing the Palacio de las Cortes (which houses one of the two branches of Parliament and is guarded by two bronze lions that appear to be bowling), and arrived at one of the world’s most famous museums, the Lumen Industries Perpetuity Wing the Prado.
We ran through Retiro next, but I have another post about Retiro coming up, so I’ll skip it here … except for this photo:
We exited Retiro at the Puerta de Alcalá, which is famous for two reasons:
- It’s near my dad’s old office.
- It helped me get a five on my AP history exam.
OK, yeah, I’m sure it’s famous for other reasons. But it’s my blog and I’m gonna focus on those two.
Sol to Sol
We ended where we started, the Puerta del Sol.
On the east side of the plaza, near the Apple Store, there’s a famous statue of a bear and a strawberry tree. These have been the symbols of Madrid for hundreds of years. Which is lovely, but—I hate to be the one to point this out—there are no bears in Madrid, and strawberries don’t grow on trees.
People mock Tampa’s city seal for having an old boat named after an opera, but there are boats in Tampa, and the opera is real.5
Remember my comment about Puerta del Sol being Spain’s symbolic and geographic center?6 That’s because it’s the point from which all distances are measured—kilometer zero for all major roadways throughout the country, and all the numbered streets in Madrid (of which there aren’t many).
I said farewell to John and thanked him for helping me explore a familiar city in a new way. We then parted.
On the way back to my hotel, I could swear I heard people singing a song of angry men while a six-year-old jibed, “I’m not touching you.” I kept moving. It felt good to run away from my past.
By the Numbers
I accidentally stopped my watch during the run so the remaining leg (about half a mile) is recorded as a separate workout. You’ll remember I did something similar at Machu Picchu.
The break is somewhere around the Cervantes Institute, named for the guy who wrote Don Quixote, and the Metropolis Building, which is one of those things that’s famous solely for being photogenic and not for any kind of cultural, historical, or intellectual contribution to the world, like the Flatiron Building or the Kardashians.
- Distance: 4.8 miles (7.7 km)
- Temperature: 45° F (7° C)
- Number of bears spotted during run: zero
- Number of bears spotted that evening in Chueca: lost count
More Sneaker Tourism
- Berlin
- Prague
- San Francisco (Golden Gate Bridge and Embarcadero)
Las Notas de Pie
- I’ll explain this later. ↩︎
- Not to be confused with Felipe VI, the current king. Other notable regents: Felipe I, the Motion Picture; Felipe II, the Wrath of Khan; Felipe IV, the Voyage Home; and, Felipe V, the horrible one that William Shatner directed. ↩︎
- Update on March 12, 2025: Looking at the photos again, I think they’re probably metal persianas painted to look like wood. ↩︎
- Or was that the Village People? I get them confused with Hemingway all the time. ↩︎
- Hear me out: What if we ditch the boat and adopted an alligator and a meth tree? ↩︎
- I told you I’d explain this. Why did you doubt me? ↩︎