People Do Like the Way The Four Questions Say “Ham”

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Lightning zip-up and shorts.

What is making Dave happy today? Dave and the Complimentary Spouse picked up the doggos this afternoon. They were ready to play!

What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says never turn down an opportunity to eat outdoors if the weather is pleasant.

What fake teevee show does Dave wish were real? Dave would watch every single episode of “Queen of Jordan,” the fake reality show from “30 Rock.”

“It’s been my dream to be a singer ever since I was a little … drunk the other day and rented out a recording space.”

Angie Jordan

“I’ve never been so disrespected in my life, and I’ve been to and worked at the post office. “

Angie Jordan

“I’m contractually obligated to pull out some bitch’s weave eight more times this season.”

Angie Jordan

“D’Fwan forgot his catchphrase.”

D’Fwan

“You’re seeing another psychic? I mean, I knew that.”

Jenna’s Psychic

“Is this the restaurant I’m opening up with Dennis Rodman and Webster?”

Angie Jordan

“My single, ‘My Single Is Dropping,’ is dropping.”

Angie Jordan

“I know the photo shoot for Randi’s dog’s funeral is the wrong place to tell you this, but, uh, I’m going to Africa.”

Tracy Jordan

“Don’t tell me I can’t sing. What the fuck have you ever done? Who the fuck are the Beatles?”

Angie Jordan