• I Love the Smell of the Four Questions in the Morning

    What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing a Buccaneers T-shirt, gray sweatpants (because he’s classy), and blue socks with pictures of cassettes on them. How does Dave feel today? Dave is sluggish. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave hasn’t had coffee yet. How is Dave adjusting to his…

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  • Who Lives in a Pineapple and Throws a TD?

    Unlike the Complimentary Spouse, I’m something of a passive sports fan. I enjoy soccer, football, hockey, baseball, and more, but I don’t follow every single goal, touchdown, and home run. It’s not surprising to find me playing with my phone, only partially paying attention, while a game is on teevee.…

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  • Some Thoughts About Parler and Free Speech

    You won’t find many people more outspoken about free speech than me. And that’s why I’m going to call bullshit on everybody who’s crying foul over Parler’s removal from Google Play, the Apple App Store, and Amazon Web Services. The First Amendment is very specific. It says the government can…

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  • Where the Hell Has Dave Been?

    Here are some possible explanations: In the Witness Protection Program Turned into a newt; had no fingers Busy earning his Ph.D. in Parapsychology On hold for Zune customer support Living in a van down by the river

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  • What Do I Need to Know About Dave’s Mustache?

    It’s all explained here.

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  • The Four Questions Are Back, so Our National Nightmare Is Over

    What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing gray sweatpants, a Star Wars T-shirt, and Basquiat socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave is quite excited. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is relaunching The Daily Dave, just for the hell of it. Today, more than…

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  • Welcome Back From This Basic Bitch

    10 PRINT “HELLO WORLD (AGAIN)”20 GOTO 10

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