Ten years ago today, Britt shared the following post on Facebook. It was just a few days after Obergefell, and he wanted to explain why marriage matters—not just for him and me, but for everyone—and refute the flawed and harmful claims against marriage equality he was reading online.

Many of Britt’s friends responded with love and warm words. Sadly, many others didn’t. He unfriended a lot of people that day, including some he had known for most of his life.

Ten years later, he doesn’t miss them.

I know that I have some friends who were not happy with Friday’s SCOTUS ruling. Please understand that it was a huge event in my life, especially as Dave and I approach our seventh wedding anniversary.

I also ask all of you to consider the following as it relates to the ruling and our marriage:

Our Marriage Is Traditional in Every Way

Our marriage IS a traditional marriage. We promised to love, honor, and cherish through sickness and health, and for richer or poorer, just like everyone else.

Faith and Support Are Not Mutually Exclusive

Our marriage does not threaten anyone’s religion. Ask yourself this: If same-sex marriage is so egregious in the eyes of God, why do so many deeply religious people—including pastors, priests, rabbis, and other leaders—support marriage equality? Is it because your interpretation of God’s word is more accurate than theirs?

What the Bible Does (and Doesn’t) Say

In the same vein, if same-sex marriage is so egregious in the eyes of God, why is it (or homosexuality, for that matter) not mentioned in the Ten Commandments? Why isn’t homosexuality one of the Seven Deadly Sins?

Our marriage and love for each other don’t seem to fit into any of those categories, but I invite input on this matter from anyone who understands them better than I do.

Religious Freedom Works Both Ways

When Dave and I got married, we didn’t violate anyone’s religious freedoms. In fact, we would have gone out of our way to avoid anyone—officiant, photographer, caterer, DJ, baker, etc.—who expressed any concern about working with us.

The idea that individuals and businesses are being forced, or will be forced, to participate in same-sex weddings against their will is a red herring. If someone does not want to be involved in a marriage that violates his/her religious beliefs, I support that.

However, I expect that person to refuse to participate in the ceremony of anyone who has been divorced, anyone who has told a lie, anyone who has ever worked on the Sabbath, etc. If you’re going to refuse to participate based on religious principles, at least be consistent.

“Hate the Sin” Doesn’t Feel Like Love

I appreciate all of you who “love the sinner but hate the sin.” I feel the same way about you, too.

I have sinned, just as all of you have. However, my love is not one of those sins. It’s kind of a package deal: If you think my love is a sin, you do not love me.

Stop Catastrophizing

If the slaughter of Native Americans, enslaving and lynching of African-Americans, and internment of Japanese-Americans in prison camps did not bring God’s wrath on our country, neither will same-sex marriage.

The Netherlands and Belgium have had same-sex marriage for over ten years without any negative consequences. Spain and Canada legalized same-sex marriage in 2005.

More than a dozen other countries did the same between 2006–2015, and I haven’t seen any evidence of it harming them or their way of life. If I’m proven wrong, feel free to say “I told you so.”

We’re Only Living Our Lives, Just Like You

I celebrate the happy events that occur in my friends’ lives—their weddings, the births of their children and grandchildren, their anniversaries, etc.

I also mourn the unhappy events, such as the deaths of their parents… something that has happened way too much recently.

When Dave and I post pictures of the events in our lives or celebrate our anniversaries, we aren’t trying to get “in your face” or shove anything down your throat. We’re just doing what other married couples do.

I understand that changing long-held beliefs is difficult, and I know that some of you won’t change. You’re entitled to hold on to those beliefs, but please don’t judge me for mine—especially when mine don’t affect your civil rights.

Thank you.

Editor’s Note

I’ve added subheads and paragraph breaks, but otherwise this is the exact text of Britt’s post.