🏳️‍🌈 Summing Up Gay Music

It’s time to hoist the rainbow flags! Today is the beginning of Pride Month, the most fabulous 30 days of the year.

I’m kicking off this year’s Gayskool series with two playlists to get you in the mood for Pride. First up: my Super Pride Mix, something I created a few years ago and update regularly.

And here’s a newer playlist: Queers Covering Queers. As you’ve probably guessed from the name, these are LGBTQ artists covering songs originally written or performed by other LGBTQ artists.

Who’s Keeping Score of LGBTQ Music? I Am.

What makes a song an LGBTQ song? No one has created a formula to calculate exactly how gay a song is … until now. Dear reader, allow me to introduce The Daily Dave Song Gayness Rating System, something I came up with about 30 minutes ago a carefully thought-out formula I have been developing for ages:

Performed by an LGBTQ artist or ally+25
Obvious LGBTQ message or subject matter+25
Unstated LGBTQ message or subject matter+15
Theme of empowerment, self-acceptance, or resiliance+25
Mainstream hit+10
Danceability or lip-syncability +5
Artist or band has made anti-LGBTQ comments (a.k.a. the Donna Summer rule)-70

At this point, the maximum number of points for any song is 100,1 but I’ve added some additional factors that amplify or lower the score, because I’ve been overthinking and overcomplicating things all my life, and I’m not gonna stop now.

Can you vogue to the song, or act out the lyrics?10%
Is the singer a bonafide gay diva?10%
Does the song break ground in a genre that typically ignores or is hostile to LGBTQ musicians and themes?10%
Does Dave love the song?10%
Does Dave hit the skip button every time this song comes on because he’s so sick of it?-10%

Anything over 75 points should be considered an LGTBQ song. If it’s over 90 points, you’ve probably got a gay anthem on your hand.

If you’re really nitpicky observant, you’ll notice that I haven’t followed my own rating system when I put together the playlists. There is a totally valid reason for this, which I will share as soon as I think of it. In the meantime, consider the playlists a work of love, not logic.

If you want a playlist programmed by an algorithm, ask ChatGPT.

All that aside, Turn up the music! It’s time to celebrate Pride!

1 But that adds up to 115, you’re saying. And you’re wrong. A single song can’t have both a stated and unstated LGBTQ message.