With apologies to musician and earthling Janis Ian, whose original lyric is included.

I learned the truth at 70
That love was not my destiny

I learned the truth at 27
That love requires penicillin

I learned the truth at 17
That love was made for beauty queens

I learned the truth at age 9
That love’s imperfect like this rhyme

I learned the truth on day 11
That love’s no reason for kvellin’

I learned the truth at 30 days
That love falls flat like my soufflés

I learned the truth at month 2
That love is pitied like the fool

I learned the truth in just a month
That love’s a thing not found on Scruff

I learned the truth around week 4
That love, like Pluto, counts no more

Credit Where Credit’s Due: The composite image on this page was created by the author. It incorporates a Janis Ian photograph by Eddie Mallin, used under CC BY-SA 2.0. Cropped and adapted. The composite image is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.