Don’t Cry Over Spilled … What?

Good glavin! After finding a Simpsons neologism in the New York Times crossword puzzle a few days ago, I discovered another Simpsons invention in the dairy aisle in Publix.

Malk isn’t new. Nearly 30 years ago, Springfield Elementary School substituted malk for milk to cut costs. There were some ill effects, as Bart discovered.

Bart says his bones are so brittle

If malk can become a reality, why not Chippos?


Or Nuts and Gum?

Or Krusty-O’s with a surprise toy inside?

Krusty O's cereal with a jagged metal toy inside

Actually, forget about the Krusty-O’s. Kids’ breakfast cereal is unhealthy enough without the risk of internal bleeding.