Tag: Gayskool

One of the stereotypes about gay men has to do with their speaking voices. (Think David Sedaris, Paul Lynde, Quentin Crisp, Liberace, and a whole bunch of Disney animated villains.) It’s often called the “gay lisp,” but I think it’s not really a lisp. To me, it sounds like a lilt, combined with a bit of a twang, some crisp consonants, and a bit of a musical cadence. It’s kind of hard to describe — but you definitely know it when you hear it.

Where does this voice come from? To be honest, I’ve never heard a good explanation. But filmmaker David Thorpe put out an excellent documentary a few years ago called “Do I Sound Gay?” I highly recommend it. Thorpe is embarrassed by his speaking voice, and looks into reasons why it’s there and possible ways to eliminate it. By the end of the film, Thorpe is more accepting of his voice.

The sad fact is that many gay men, like Thorpe, are ashamed of their voices, and will go to great lengths to suppress it. In Hollywood, there are vocal coaches that specialize in helping people sound less gay.

I, for one, hope the gay speaking voice never disappears. Ever hear a straight person say “yass qween”? Ugh. Just no.

In 1990, the groundbreaking documentary “Paris Is Burning” was released. It was an intimate look at the ball scene in New York — a place where marginalized LGBTQ people (mainly of color) would compete for trophies in fashion-inspired categories. The takeaway for me was that people who are cast out of their own families and communities will create their own families and communities. The Madonna hit “Vogue” is based on the ball scene. So is the FX series “Pose.” And every gay catchphrase you’ve ever heard, including those on RuPaul’s Drag Race, probably originated in ball culture. Okurr, gurl?

During Pride Month, major companies wrap themselves in rainbows, march in parades, and proclaim their commitment to equal rights. This hasn’t always been the case.

There are many stories of companies discriminating against LGBTQ people in the past. Let’s look at one infamous company.

In the ’80s, Delta Airlines gained a reputation for discriminating against gay men. In 1985, the company prohibited anyone with HIV or AIDS from flying with them. (Delta eventually backed down and apologized.)

In 1987, after a deadly crash, the airline claimed in court that it shouldn’t have to compensate the full amount for one of the passengers killed because, since he was gay, he probably had AIDS. That is, they claimed, he wouldn’t have lived as long as the other dead passengers. (Delta eventually backed down and apologized.)

Also, in 1987, on a flight filled with people returning from the Lesbian and Gay March on Washington, the flight crew put on rubber gloves when they collected items from any men and women who appeared to be gay or lesbian. This was reported, ironically, by two straight men. (Delta eventually … you see the pattern, right?)

Delta’s bigotry was reported in the Washington Post. You can see the article from 1987 here.

Things are much different today. In fact, Delta gets a perfect 100 score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index. It’s a reminder of how quickly Corporate America went from being our enemies to our friends — and a reminder that even the most repulsive people can redeem themselves.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) was the horribly misguided policy that allowed lesbian, gay, and bisexual people to serve in the U.S. military as long as they didn’t disclose their sexual orientation. President Bill Clinton introduced the policy as a sort of compromise between forces advocating for and against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in the military. DADT went into effect in 1994 and was mercifully ended by President Obama in 2011.

The issue isn’t dead yet, though. The service members who were dishonorably discharged under DADA aren’t receiving the benefits they rightfully earned in the military.

LGBTQ representation in government is getting better, and that’s thanks to trailblazers like Tammy Baldwin (D-WI).

In 1998, Baldwin became the first openly lesbian woman elected to Congress. In 2012, she became the first openly LGBTQ person in the Senate.

Baldwin has never hidden her sexual orientation. “I think that that integrity is something that is important to voters,” she has said.

(You might want to know why I use the word openly as a qualifier when I describe Baldwin’s career. There were indubitably LGBTQ people in national politics before Baldwin, but they were in the closet.)

GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network) was created in 1990 to promote LGBT issues in kindergarten, elementary, middle, and high schools. It supports students and teachers. GLSEN is best known for helping schools form and sustain Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) clubs. Some administrations and parents are so vehemently hateful against GSAs that they have ended all after-school clubs at their schools rather than allow for the GSAs to operate. GLSEN sponsors the Day of Silence each year.

Sexual Behavior in the Human Male shocked the world when it was published in 1948 by Alfred Kinsey. It said 10% of the male population was gay and more than one third of men had had at least one gay sexual experience. The report also gave us the Kinsey Scale, which put sexuality on a spectrum.

As you can imagine, the book was controversial at the time. So was the companion book, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, published five years later. Today, many people say his research methods were flawed, but there’s no doubt that he played an important role in society’s understanding of lesbian, gay, and bi people.

FYI: There is a drag a capella group called the Kinsey Sicks. Check ‘em out. They are hilarious.

IKEA was the first company to depict a gay couple in a TV ad in the United States — in 1994! It showed the couple shopping for a table. The ad only appeared in a few markets and was shown late at night, not during prime time. Of course, bigots called for a boycott. As usual, the boycott had no effect and today IKEA has about 950 million annual visits worldwide.

Allen Bennett was the first openly gay rabbi in the United States. He came out in 1978 in California as one of many LGBTQ voices opposing the Briggs Initiative (which I might discuss in a future history lesson). In 1979, he was elected rabbi of Congregation Sha’ar Zahav in San Francisco. Early in his tenure, he officiated Harvey Milk’s funeral.

Reform Judaism — which I am a part of — is a vocal, energetic, and spirited supporter of LGBTQ equality. The Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) first announced its support for gays and lesbian participation in Jewish life in 1987, and since then it has been at the forefront of pushing for marriage equality and trans rights.

(Photo credit: SFGate.com.)

Ever wonder why so many LGBTQ characters die in movies and on TV? It’s not a coincidence. For many years, written and unwritten censorship laws prohibited the depiction of LGBTQ characters unless they were punished for their orientation. (You can google “Hays Code” for more info about this.)

This situation is so commonplace that there are names for the trope: Bury Your Gays and Dead Lesbian Syndrome. LGBTQ characters die everywhere you look — Brokeback Mountain, A Single Man, House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Philadelphia … need I go on?

Even when someone doesn’t die, unhappy endings are far too common (Call Me by Your Name is a recent example). And don’t get me started on Billy Crystal’s character on Soap — who only found happiness when he “switched” to heterosexuality. Steven on Dynasty too.

Bury Your Gays and Dead Lesbian Syndrome are destructive in a way straight people might not realize. What would it do to your self-worth if the only images you saw of people like yourself on TV and in movies involved death and misery?

But don’t despair! Things are getting better. Love, Simon gave LGBTQ audiences the teen rom-com they have always wanted. Cam and Mitch weren’t killed off on Modern Family. Ray Holt is still leading the precinct on Brooklyn 99. And we’re getting a gay Marvel superhero in “The Eternals” in a few months.

Speaking of which … I can’t wait!