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Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer
Everyone at Camp David will be rooting for the Crimson Tide tonight. The Complimentary Spouse has been an Alabama diehard since he was in utero, and Dave became a fan by osmosis. Sadly, Britt and I won’t be at tonight’s…
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Yo No Estoy Llorando. Tú Estas Llorando.
Comida chatarra. Mensaje maravilloso.
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“That’s Not Who I Am”
Out: “Top Golfer, Justin Thomas, Uses ‘Inexcusable’ Homophobic Slur” Ever notice that anytime something like this happens, the first response is “that’s not who I am.” Actually, it is who you are. Your character is revealed by what you do…
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Hypocrisy in 17 Syllables
A haiku: “We want unity!”Say the folks whose T-shirts said,“Trump: Fuck your Feelings.”
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I Love the Smell of the Four Questions in the Morning
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing a Buccaneers T-shirt, gray sweatpants (because he’s classy), and blue socks with pictures of cassettes on them. How does Dave feel today? Dave is sluggish. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave…
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Who Lives in a Pineapple and Throws a TD?
Unlike the Complimentary Spouse, I’m something of a passive sports fan. I enjoy soccer, football, hockey, baseball, and more, but I don’t follow every single goal, touchdown, and home run. It’s not surprising to find me playing with my phone,…
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Some Thoughts About Parler and Free Speech
You won’t find many people more outspoken about free speech than me. And that’s why I’m going to call bullshit on everybody who’s crying foul over Parler’s removal from Google Play, the Apple App Store, and Amazon Web Services. The…
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Where the Hell Has Dave Been?
Here are some possible explanations: In the Witness Protection ProgramTurned into a newt; had no fingersBusy earning his Ph.D. in ParapsychologyOn hold for Zune customer supportLiving in a van down by the river
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What Do I Need to Know About Dave’s Mustache?
It’s all explained here.
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The Four Questions Are Back, so Our National Nightmare Is Over
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing gray sweatpants, a Star Wars T-shirt, and Basquiat socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave is quite excited. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is relaunching The Daily…
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Welcome Back From This Basic Bitch
10 PRINT “HELLO WORLD (AGAIN)”20 GOTO 10