Author: Dave

Categories
Travel & Food

Llamas and Nausea and Ruins, Oh My! My Trip to Machu Picchu.

Machu Picchu featured image

My last post was a bunch of logorrhea and omphaloskepsis about my experience at Machu Picchu. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s cut out the five-dollar words and see some pictures!

I’m going to start in Cusco. If you’d rather skip this part and go directly to the sections about Machu Picchu, you can click here. Just go ahead. Jump over my carefully crafted, witty prose and wonderful photos. I don’t care. Whatever.

Getting There Wasn’t Half the Fun. It Was No Fun.

One does not simply walk into Machu Picchu. Getting there requires trains, planes, and automobiles, but not in that order.

Also a bus.

First, you fly to Cusco, which is 11,150 feet (3,400 meters) above sea level. Everyone warned the Complimentary Spouse and me about the lack of oxygen at that altitude, but I didn’t feel it one bit!

For about five minutes, anyway.

By the time we reached the baggage carousel, I was breathing heavily and felt a twinge of nausea. (Spoiler alert: Nausea will be a recurring theme in this travelogue.)

From Cusco, you need to get to Ollantaytambo, which is about two hours by car East-northeast. We had arranged for a driver to take us there. My half-assed Spanish was better than his nonexistent English, so Britt didn’t understand a word we said, and I’m not sure the driver and I understood each other either.

About an hour into the drive, I was severely nauseated. I asked the driver to pull over at the next shoulder, hopped out, and heaved for a few minutes.

Are we close to Machu Picchu yet, Dave? Not even close. Calm down.

Ollantaytambo is notable for only one thing: the Ollantaytambo train station.1 I got some water, and we boarded the train to Aguas Calientes. I instantly felt sick, as if someone had turned my nausea dial up to 11. I tried to focus on the landscape rolling past the window. Then I closed my eyes and listened to relaxing music on my headphones. This was interrupted by a rather loud and lousy Incan dance performance in the middle of the trip.2

From Ollantaytambo to Aguas Calientes

Two queasy hours later, I stepped off the train and into a maze of souvenir shops. Aguas Calientes is the town closest to Machu Picchu, and its sole industry seems to be tourism — hotels, restaurants, tour guides, and souvenirs. It’s the Kissimmee of the Sacred Valley: A place that’s only visited because it’s close to the place people really want to visit.3

A view of Aguas Calientes.
Not a Starbucks or Marriott in sight. That’s OK.
View of Aguas Calientes
The Urubamba River bisects Agua Calientes.
A view of the Urubamba River.
For dinner, we went to Full House Peruvian Cuisine. Our table overlooked the Urubamba River.
A dish of lomo salteado and a glass of pisco sour.
I ordered the lomo salteado with alpaca. Looks good, but how will it taste?
Dave bites into some lomo salteado.
Alpaca doesn’t taste like chicken. It’s very lean and somewhat sweet. Texture-wise, it’s somewhere between tough and chewy. I was a bit disappointed, but I was in a touristy restaurant in a touristy town, which often doesn’t equate to quality meals.

We spent the night in a hotel whose staircase was inspired by M.C. Escher. In the morning, we met our guide, boarded a bus, and headed at last to Machu Picchu.

And, since I know you’re curious, the road was indeed narrow, twisty, and nausea-inducing.

Morning at Machu Picchu

At last, we had arrived at one of the Seven Wonders of the Modern World, the snack bar outside Machu Picchu.

Our guide, Mauro, suggested we wait about half an hour for the best views. Right now, he explained, the site would be shrouded in fog. Later, there would be no fog at all. In 30 minutes, things would be spectacular.

Boy oh boy, he was right.

After walking up about eight flights of uneven, rocky stairs, we turned the corner and saw this:

A view of Machu Picchu, framed by branches and leaves.
With all due respect to Carl Sandburg, the fog creeps in on little alpaca feet.

A few minutes later, Mauro offered to snap a photo. Who were we to refuse?

A panorame of Machu Picchu taken from the upper terrace with Britt and Dave on the left.
Our heads are in the clouds. As usual.

If you move those two handsome gentlemen out of the way, here’s what you’d see:

Machu Picchu in the fog, as seen from the upper terrace area.
A spectacular view from the upper platform as the fog begins to burn off.

The weather was pleasant — 65°F (18°C) with 68% humidity — but the trek was quite a workout and Britt and I warmed up quickly.

Machu Picchu is 8,000 feet (2,400 meters) above sea level — well below Cusco, but high enough to make breathing difficult. There was a lot of uphill and downhill walking, and the stairs were treacherous, so we had to walk carefully.

By George, There Are Some Animals Here

First, here’s a llama …

A single llama.
Llama.

And a llama, llama, llama, llama …

Four llamas
… llama, llama, llama, llama …

And now a chameleon.

A lizard (or other reptile) peeking out from the rocks.
… chameleon.

Now, let’s all sing it together!

Llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon.
You come and go, you come and go.
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams.
Red, gold, and green, red, gold, and green.4

A Closer View

What can I say about the view from the upper terrace? This view is as iconic as the Mona Lisa — everyone on the planet has seen it — but it’s another thing to be there and experience it for yourself.5

The fog burned off quickly, revealing this view from the upper terrace.
Britt and Dave look at Machu Picchu. Their backs are to the camera.
This photo is in no way staged.
Dave and Britt sitting on a rock with Machu Picchu in the background.
Three of the Wonders of the Modern World.

Urban Legend

From the upper terrace, we slowly worked our way down to what’s called the urban zone. “Urban” simply means it is where people lived, worked, and congregated. It is not, as you probably thought, named after Australian country musician Keith Urban.

Main Temple
The stones in the Main Temple fit together so precisely that the Incas didn’t need to use mortar or fill in any gaps. Some spots look a little worse for wear, but that doesn’t make the building any less impressive. Let’s see how good your house looks after 500 years.
The Temple of the Three Windows
The Temple of the Three Windows also features precision Inca stonework.
The Temple of the Condor in Machu Picchu
The Temple of the Condor combines natural rock formations with Incan stonework.

Mauro said that it’s very likely that human sacrifices were performed at the Temple of the Condor, which makes it very unlike any of the temples I’ve ever belonged to. Our services usually end with a little nosh. As advanced as the Incas were, I don’t think they had mini black-and-white cookies.

Heading Out

You know how you can check out of the Hotel California any time you want, but you can never leave?

Machu Picchu isn’t like that. Visitors have a four-hour maximum limit, and you can leave. In fact, I think they’d be quite upset if you tried to stay.

Machu Picchu vista
From this angle, you can see where we began our Machu Picchu adventure. So many ups and downs.
Sacred Rock at Machu Picchu.
Sacred Rock was one of the last things we saw on our tour. Its shape matches that of nearby Yanantin Mountain, and it could be used to track astronomical and solar movements. It was also used for offerings and sacrifices. If you ignore the death stuff, it was basically the Apple Watch of its day.

Presented for Your Consideration

My short video about Machu Picchu won the Palm d’Or at Cannes.

By the Numbers

Here’s how long and far we travelled:

  • Time spent at Machu Picchu: 2 hours, 49 minutes
  • Total distance: 1.25 miles (2 km)
  • Total flights climbed: 109
  • Cumulative elevation gain: 252 feet (77 meters)

More Long and Winding Roads

Before heading back to Cusco, we had to return to Aguas Calientes. That meant, once again, a nausea-inducing ride on a bus along comically narrow roads with no guardrails. Would I throw up? Plummet to my death? Or both?

Fortunately, neither. So we were able to treat Mauro to lunch at a restaurant whose name I have forgotten.

Lunch with our tour guide, Mauro, after our Machu Picchu visit.
Lunch with our tour guide, Mauro, after our Machu Picchu visit.

I was still somewhat nauseated, so Mauro ordered me a glass of muna tea. Muna is similar to, but not quite the same as, mint. It settled my stomach for a while.

Muna tea
This is the teabag equivalent of going commando.

At last, the time had come to reverse our steps and return to Cusco. After receiving our bags from the hotel, we boarded the train to Ollantaytambo. My nausea returned as soon as the train started moving, and because I was facing backward, it was twice as bad as the previous day.

It took about 15 minutes to locate our driver in the chaos outside the Ollantaytambo train station. Less than two queasy hours later, we arrived at our hotel.

Our Machu Picchu adventure had come to an end, but there’s an old Incan proverb I learned that comes to mind when I think of this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

As they say in Quechua, the language of the Incans: “Ama kaypi wiksaykipi kaqta qarquychu.”

Rough English translation: “Do not throw up here.”

The Footnotes
  1. If anyone from the Ollantaytambo tourism authority is reading this, your town was full of culture, history, and entertainment. Don’t @ me. ↩︎
  2. If anyone from Inca Rail is reading this, your dance demonstration was full of culture, history, and entertainment. Don’t @ me. ↩︎
  3. If anyone from the Aguas Calientes tourism authority is reading this, your town was full of culture, history, and entertainment. Don’t @ me. ↩︎
  4. If Boy George is reading this, holy fucking shit! How awesome! You can definitely @ me. ↩︎
  5. Seeing Machu Picchu for real is incredible. Seeing the Mona Lisa for real is a huge letdown. Just buy a postcard from the Louvre gift shop. Also, if anyone from the Paris tourism authority is reading this, your big museum was full of culture, history, and entertainment. Don’t @ me. ↩︎
Categories
Oversharing Travel & Food

Trying to Wrap My Head Around Machu Picchu

Dave at Machu Picchu

I visited Machu Picchu 81 days ago. I understand it as well as I did 82 days ago. In fact, I understand it less.

That’s why I’ve taken so long to write this post. I still struggle to describe the nonphysical part of the experience. So many of the words other people use to describe Machu Picchu simply don’t capture my feelings.

  • Spiritual means supernatural.1
  • Metaphysical means supernatural with crystals.
  • Mystical means supernatural with unicorns.

Finding the Right Words  

There are only two terms that accurately describe my experience at Machu Picchu. The first is groin-grabblingly transcendent.

Homer says "groin-grabbingly transcendent."
It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

My editor rejected that.

Lisa says "uh, I don't think so."
Good call.

That leaves me with sublime. I’m thinking specifically about how Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant2 defined the word, not how it’s used broadly today.

Whereas the beautiful is limited, the sublime is limitless, so that the mind in the presence of the sublime, attempting to imagine what it cannot, has pain in the failure but pleasure in contemplating the immensity of the attempt.

Immanuel Kant, “Critique of Pure Reason”

I know what you’re thinking: What the fuck do you know about philosophy or sublimity, Dave? Well, for one thing, I think you should watch your fucking language. For another, travel writer Mark Adams came to this realization first.3

For the first time since dropping out of graduate school, I remembered an unpleasant weekend spent struggling to comprehend the philosopher Immanuel Kant’s explanation of the difference between calling something beautiful and calling it sublime. Nowadays, we throw around the word “sublime” to describe gooey desserts or overpriced handbags.

In Kant’s epistemology, it meant something limitless, an aesthetically pleasing entity so huge that it made the perceiver’s head hurt. Machu Picchu isn’t just beautiful, it’s sublime.

Mark Adams, “Turn Right at Machu Picchu”

Adams, referring to Kant, found the most appropriate word — perhaps the only word — to describe what I felt at Machu Picchu.

There’s No Place Like Place

Why was Machu Picchu so agonizing to understand but so wonderful to contemplate? Because it blew up my understanding of what a “place” is.

I think of places as distinct things.

  • My home is a place.
  • Our synagogue is a place.
  • San Francisco is a place.
  • The moon is a place.
  • Pike’s Peak is a place.
  • Australia is a place.
  • Barcelona is a place.4

At Machu Picchu, I saw that the Incas didn’t make these differentiations. The built environment (like temples, living spaces, terraces, irrigation systems, and roads) was aligned with the natural environment (like the mountains and the movements of the sun, moon, and stars).

These connections weren’t limited to the area around Machu Picchu. The Incas didn’t have modern surveying equipment or a written language, but almost everything they built was aligned with manufactured or natural features long distances away.

What happens to the concept of “place” when every place is integrated into all other places? Is my kitchen no longer a discrete space but part of something larger, connected not just to my house but to grocery stores, distribution routes, farms, factories, sunlight, soil, and whatever layer of hell Brussells spouts come from?

Contemplating all that is like drinking a Slurpee. Your brain hurts, yet you want to keep sipping.

Everywhere Is Everywhere

I had read about these alignments before visiting Machu Picchu, but I didn’t truly appreciate them till I was there with a guide pointing them out. Seeing was believing, and believing was overwhelming. Every engineering decision was deliberate and precise, and every pebble and blade of grass seemed to have been positioned for a purpose.

That doesn’t happen by accident. It comes from a cultural understanding of “place” fundamentally different from ours, based on the interconnectedness of everything at a subatomic level.5

To put that in the form of a Zen kōan: Machu Picchu is one place and every place.

Now you see why I keep coming back to the word sublime. Machu Picchu challenged me to look at the world differently. I haven’t gained a different perspective on things; rather, I’ve become aware that there is a different perspective I may never see or comprehend. You can interpret that last sentence literally or figuratively. Both ways are correct.

Mark Adams,6 the author I quoted above, has the perfect analogy:

Anyone who has ever studied string theory in physics may have some idea of how I felt. You walk into class one day confident that you live in a three-dimensional world. An hour later you walk out with only the faintest grasp of the concept that there are actually nine or ten dimensions and, quite possibly, parallel universes on top of our own.

Mark Adams, “Turn Right at Machu Picchu”

Will I ever truly understand what Machu Picchu means? No. But I’m fine with that. There’s more to be learned by appreciating this mystery than by solving it.

The Inevitable Footnotes
  1. As you may recall, I’m a skeptic about such things. ↩︎
  2. Here’s a short educational video about Kant and other philosophers: link. ↩︎
  3. I can’t recommend his book, “Turn Right at Machu Picchu,” enough. Buy it now. Do not pass Go. Do not pay $200. ↩︎
  4. A massively overrated place that is inferior to Madrid in every way. ↩︎
  5. Let’s pretend I’m smart enough to understand subatomic entanglement. ↩︎
  6. Why haven’t you bought his book yet? Did you not see the earlier footnote? ↩︎
Categories
LGBTQ

🏳️‍🌈 Confronting Hate With Speech and Silence

David photobombs two bigots.

In everyday situations, I have no qualms whatsoever about calling out bigotry and LGBTQ bias. But I always ignore the guys holding signs and preaching hate through megaphones in public.

At least I did, until St. Pete Pride last weekend.

One of these sanctimonious hatemongers had set up shop along the long, slowly moving line to go through security at one of the Pride festival areas. The Complimentary Spouse and I, like thousands of other people, could not simply walk away. The guy knew he had a captive audience. It was like converting fish in a barrel.

This particular homophobe wore an all-black outfit and a brown hat to protect him from the sun. He brandished a Bible in one hand, clasped a portable speaker in the other, and spewed garbage at us through a headset microphone.

It was disgusting and annoying, but not enough to break my equanimity. But then I saw his bodycam. He was recording everyone at Pride, including everyone in line. His actions weren’t just irritating. They were invasive and intimidating.

So, I pulled out my phone and began recording him.

Dave records a bigot at Pride.
Smile for the camera, asshole.

Speaking the Truth

I suppose it was only a matter of time before I spoke up. Was it good judgment on my part? Probably not. Did anything he said surprise me? Of course not. Was it fun to use my delightfully sarcastic voice in front of an audience? Hell yeah!1

When I asked about the bodycam, he said he wore it for protection.2

“So what are you going to use this video for?” I said. “Is it for protecting you?”

“Yeah, it serves that purpose, too.”

Too?

“So the video is not going to be used for anything unless you feel attacked?”

“God loves you,” he replied.” He wants you to be saved.”

That didn’t answer the question. But, let’s face it, I was never going to get an honest reply, was I?

Here are a few more highlights from our scintillating discussion:

Does God make mistakes when he makes gay people?

God didn’t make gay people.

So God doesn’t want me to be happy, is that what you’re trying to say?

God wants you to be holy, sir.

God wants me to be horny?

Well, listen. I’m Jewish. Explain it without the Bible.

I know, you can still be Jewish.

You’re still all Bible, Bible, Bible.

Because the Bible’s the standard. I don’t want to give you my opinion. You don’t need to hear my opinion. What you need to hear is the word of God, the truth of the word of God. It’s not about what I think. It’s about what the Bible says, you know.

God made me gay, period, end of discussion. So why do you not accept it?

You see, you were born with a sinful nature.

So you’re saying I can change from gay to straight?

You need to hear the gospel and believe it. Then you can be able to change after you get saved.

When the line started moving, I thanked this kind man for his time. The exact words I used were, “I don’t have any more time for your bullshit.”

Silence Speaks Louder Than Words

What happened next was an epiphany — but certainly not one the guy with the Bible wanted. I discovered a more powerful way to respond to these types of people, and it didn’t require me to utter a word.

A few minutes after I stopped speaking, I saw a woman holding her clack fan in front of the man — not in front of his face, but his chest. She was blocking his bodycam. It was brilliant.

When she had to leave, I took her place, but I didn’t have a fan. So, with the help of someone else in line, I held up my massive Pride flag to block the bodycam.

Using a Pride flag to block a bigot's bodycam.
It’s hard to record the line now, isn’t it?

After a few days of reflection, I’m not proud of engaging this person at Pride. Someone like him doesn’t just want to be heard; he wants to know he’s being heard. Speaking up empowered and validated him.

Only after I shut my mouth did I discover a way to make an impact without saying a word, and it relates to the bodycam that triggered me in the first place. I see now that I should have just blocked it instead of questioning it. The Pride flag couldn’t stop him from talking, but it limited his ability to intimidate us or make us feel unsafe.

Will I still speak back to bigotry? Fuck yes. Heaven help the next person who starts talking shit about LGBTQ people within earshot.

But …

I’ve learned that there’s a better way to engage people who combine the worst aspects of proselytization and street performance. In those situations, unfurling a Pride flag will do more good than opening my mouth.

As Leonardo da Vinci said, “Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.”

  1. I know what you’re thinking: What the hell, Dave? Don’t you realize that little good comes from doing things like this? Well, keep reading. I knew it wasn’t a good idea at the time, and upon reflection, I’m kinda embarrassed that I spoke up. However — spoiler alert — I also learned a new way to deal with these folks. ↩︎
  2. Protection from whom? We were the ones who needed bag checks and metal detectors to safeguard our safety. ↩︎
Categories
LGBTQ Married Life

🏳️‍🌈 Obergefell Turns Nine. Yawn.

Today’s the ninth anniversary of Obergefell vs. Hodges, the Supreme Court decision that solidified marriage equality in the United States.1

Last year, I wrote that the thing that I was most grateful for is that Obergefell made life much more boring for the Complimentary Spouse and me.

That sounds terrible, but it’s anything but.2

Before Obergefell, Britt and I were treated differently than other married couples. We could never take it for granted we’d be shown the same dignity and afforded the same rights as opposite-sex spouses. It depended on where we were, what we wanted to do, whom we were talking to, how much money we were spending, and whether Mercury was retrograde.3

It’s emotionally draining. And financially draining, too, when health care and other employer benefits are involved. One of the worst parts was not knowing if we’d be considered spouses or strangers if one of us was taken to the hospital. No one should ever have to live with that fear in the back of their head.

All of those injustices, big and small, made our lives unpredictable. That ended with Obergefell.

The Impact

I can’t begin to describe how groundbreaking and validating the Obergefell decision was. To quote a wise and eloquent man:

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy

At the same time, it’s important to recognize all of the small, unremarkable, mundane ways in which the ruling changed the lives of same-sex married couples. To quote an equally wise and eloquent man:4

We feel the impact of Obergefell when we file taxes, sign paperwork, and apply for loans. We feel it when we go through customs and immigration at the airport and present our passports together, like any other married couple. We feel it when we’re shopping for auto insurance.

Me

Married life is still exciting and unpredictable.5 It has always been that way for Britt and me. But before Obergefell, we faced many shocks, setbacks, and surprises trying to deal with things that should have been mundane. They were constant reminders that our marriage was unequal and undervalued.

Now, those mundane things are just … well … mundane. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Of Course, There Are Footnotes
  1. It is also the ninth anniversary of me learning to spell Obergefell correctly. ↩︎
  2. I’m editing this post now and have just realized I have written essentially the same thing I did a year ago. I’m still going to publish this new one. Hollywood keeps rehashing the same stories, so why can’t I? ↩︎
  3. I wouldn’t be surprised, given all the other random variables we had to deal with. ↩︎
  4. His wisdom and eloquence are matched only by his modesty. ↩︎
  5. Except the times when we can’t agree on a restaurant. It’s not exciting and we end up, predictably, at the same place. ↩︎
Categories
LGBTQ

🏳️‍🌈 Nobody, No Nobody Gonna Rain on Our Parade

Britt and Dave along the parade route

Meteorologists predicted rain for the St. Pete Pride Parade Parade last Saturday. But the Gay Gods had other plans.

When the parade stepped off at 6 p.m., the drizzle was barely noticeable. It lasted only a few minutes — long enough to cool the air and usher in a light breeze.

The Complimentary Spouse and I found a nice spot along Bayshore Drive just in time to see the parade kick off. Then, joined by hundreds of thousands of our dearest LGBTQ friends and cherished allies, we cheered and celebrated the myriad things that make us proud to be gay.

Here’s the video. Keep reading to learn more about St. Pete Pride and see more photos.

Submitted for your consideration. Hey, the Oscars aren’t too far away!

Pride in the Sunshine City

St. Petersburg, once nicknamed “God’s waiting room” because of its outsized senior population, is now one of Florida’s most exciting, young, and livable cities.1 It’s also home to one of the largest Pride parades in the Southeast: It draws about 300,000 people a year, about the same as Atlanta’s parade and nearly twice as many as Miami’s.2

Over the years, St. Pete Pride has grown from a modest parade into an entire month of entertainment, education, and empowerment. There’s a festival on the day of the parade, and it’s now so big it encompasses two parks.3

Here are some more photos from our day at Pride.

Britt and I get a refreshment.
It is early in the day, but Britt and I know we must stay hydrated.
Eating lunch at Teak.
We had a great view at Teak, one of the restaurants at the end of the new pier.
Britt, David, and Prince the unicorn
I suspect this is not a real unicorn, but it could be.
Man holding up Slay fan.
I suspect this is not really Kid Rock, but it could be.
Lutherans at Pride
There are always a few people at Pride events preaching hate. But there are many, many more preaching love. Amen!
Free hugs sign.
The Free Mom Hugs and Free Dad Hugs mean so much to so many people. I’m fortunate to have a family that loves me. Too many people don’t.
Free Mom Hug hug.
A free hug from a Free Mom Hugs mom. I know that sounds confusing, but it’s a grammatically correct sentence.4
Allendale float at Pride: Black Jesus wearing a rainbow sash, holding a lamb wrapped in a trans sash.
The Allendale Church float featured a giant Black Jesus wearing a rainbow sash. He is holding a lamb wrapped in a trans flag. That sound you hear is bigots’ heads exploding across the country.
Britt and Dave along the parade route.
Two handsome devils along the parade route.
Building lit up for Pride
When the sun went down, the Pride lights came on.
The Footnotes
  1. If you’re unfamiliar with Florida geography, St. Pete is just across the bay from Tampa. You’ll note that Britt and I never complain about the 30-minute drive for Pride events, but we’re always carping about the same 30-minute drive to Tropicana Field. That’s because when you drive over the bridge to Pride events, you end up somewhere fabulous. When you drive over the bridge to Tropicana Field, you end up at Tropicana Field — undeniably the worst stadium in Major League Baseball. ↩︎
  2. As far as I know, the largest Pride event of all time was WorldPride in New York in 2019. It commemorated the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. Of course, Britt and I were there! ↩︎
  3. You have to pass through a security checkpoint to get into the festival areas. It’s a sobering reminder that anti-LGBTQ bigots have hearts full of hate and, sometimes, trunks full of guns. ↩︎
  4. Trust me. I’m an English major and never make misteaks. ↩︎
Categories
LGBTQ

🏳️‍🌈 Out of the Closet and Into the History Books

Statues in the British Museum

Lesbian, gay, bi, and trans people have made history since the beginning of human history.

So why didn’t you learn about these folks’ queerness in school?

Blame the historians. For decades — actually centuries — many of them have omitted, underplayed, or obscured the sexuality of LGBTQ people.1 Two men living together and sharing a bed for years? Oh, they were just roommates! Those erotically charged poems Donatello wrote to Tommaso de Cavalieri? When they were published, all the male pronouns were changed to female ones.

Fortunately, today, many historians are setting the record straight queer. Here are just a few of the people you know … but didn’t know were LGBTQ:2

Quite a Few Residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

  • Abraham Lincoln may have been the Great Emancipator, but he wasn’t a straight emancipator.
  • James Buchanan, a so-called confirmed bachelor, was involved with William Rufus DeVane King of Alabama — and everyone knows it’s hard to resist a man from Alabama.
  • Eleanor Roosevelt and Lorena Hickok wrote thousands of love letters to each other. An excerpt:

Oh! how I wanted to put my arms around you in reality instead of in spirit. I went & kissed your photograph instead & the tears were in my eyes. Please keep most of your heart in Washington as long as I’m here for most of mine is with you!”

Letter from Eleanor Roosevelt to Lorena Hickok

The Namesakes of All Four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Renaissance culture was relatively tolerant of LGBTQ people:

In Italy, one of the hearts of the Renaissance, humanism led to the increasing toleration of hedonism and bisexuality as Classical values. Classical myths dignified homosexual intercourse, and artists were both privately and publically homosexual.

Queer Storytelling in Visual Media, The University of Michigan

Here’s a quick look at our fabulous foursome:

  • Michelangelo: He’s the guy who sculpted David’s abs (and other body parts).
  • Leonardo de Vinci: Could the Last Supper have been based on a drag brunch?
  • Donatello: He also sculpted a David, because everyone loves a David.
  • Raphael: He reportedly got it on with everyone and died of syphilis at 37.

World Leaders

  • Building an empire that spanned as far as Egypt and India made Alexander the Great great. But his relationships with men made him fabulous.
  • James I gave his male lovers titles, and there’s a Bible named after him. Meanwhile, I give the Complimentary Spouse awesome pet names, but I can’t even get a sandwich named after me.3
  • Richard I of England (aka Richard the Lionheart) had a scandalous affair with Phillip II of France. It didn’t end well. They went to war with each other. That’s an epic breakup.
  • Joan of Arc, the hero of France and bane of England, shared her bed with women and girls and may have been transgender.4 The only thing we are absolutely certain of is that she wasn’t Noah’s wife. (Insert dad joke groan here.)

Other Famous and Infamous Folks

  • American writers Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau were lovers.
  • Walt Whitman‘s “Leaves of Grass” includes some pretty obvious references to gay love. Some are quite erotic. In one poem, Whitman is in the shower when the pizza delivery guy rings the doorbell, so he rushes to the door wearing nothing but a towel, but realizes he doesn’t have any money to tip the delivery guy with, so he invites him in, and then … wait, I’m thinking of something else.
  • After that whole kerfuffle with the axe murders, Lizzie Borden was linked with Nance O’Neil, a contemporary actress.
  • After a long day of waging war against gay people, FBI director J. Edgar Hoover went home to his partner, Clyde Tolson. The two were together for over 40 years, but Hoover used his clout to ensure the secret never got out.

There’s More to Discover

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Historians have shoved many queer people into history’s closet, and we’re only starting to discover how many LGBTQ figures there really are.5

Want to learn more? Head to your local library, flip through the card catalog, jot down the Dewey Decimal number, walk over to the stacks, hope the book you need is on the shelf, check it out, take it home, and start reading!

Or just use Google, you lazy schmuck.

footnotes
  1. Until recently, most Western historians were straight, white, cisgender, and male. And, until recently. most historical accounts were written with straight, white, cisgender, male perspective. I’m sure this is merely a coincidence. ↩︎
  2. Apologies in advance for focusing on Western history. You’ll find LGBTQ folks in the histories of every country, culture, and people. ↩︎
  3. I have a few ideas in R&D. ↩︎
  4. Out of all the people I mention in this post, she’s the most contentious. Let’s consider Joan of Arc 50% speculation and 50% fact. ↩︎
  5. One thing to keep in mind is that, until the early part of the 20th Century, these people wouldn’t have identified themselves as LGBTQ the way we do today. The concepts, understanding, and terminology we use today are relatively new. In fact, the term “homosexual” is only about 150 years old. ↩︎
Categories
Whatnot

5 for 500

500 Posts Featured Image

Break out the champagne! This is the 500th post on the Daily Dave, the world’s foremost Dave-related blog.1 Since my first short post on Jan. 10, 2021, I’ve written and rambled about topics I find interesting and important. I hope you’ve enjoyed what you’ve seen so far.

Here are five of my favorite posts from the past 1,258 days.2

How We Tied the Knot

Britt and Dave exchange rings

When the Complimentary Spouse and I met, marriage was inconceivable. We’re celebrating our 16th anniversary this year. Here’s how we got from there to here.

More posts about Britt and me:

A Wildly Inaccurate Guide to Chicago Architecture

Chicago skyscrapers

When you can’t remember the details, just make up a bunch of funny shit.

More posts about travel:

There Is Nothing Either Good or Bad, but Thinking Makes it So

Mural in Madrid

After David Burns (author of “Feeling Good”) passed away, I reflected on what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy means to me.

Some related posts:

My Out at Office Message

David and his limited edition RuPaul teddy bear.

I’ve written quite a bit about LGBTQ issues,3 but this is one of the best. It’s about my journey as a gay professional.

A few more LGBTQ posts:

Of course, don’t forget to check out Gayskool: A new post every day in Pride Month.

The Best Laid Plans of Dogs and Men

Britt and I offer a treat to a dog in Havana.

Our secret mission in Havana didn’t go as expected.

Here’s another doggo post you may enjoy: Happy Linus Day. It’s about how the little red rascal joined Britt, Lucy, and me.

Footnotes
  1. This is actually the third or fourth iteration of the Daily Dave. I started the first version on Blogger in 2002. I think of those versions as trial runs or pilot episodes. What you’re reading now is the real deal. ↩︎
  2. If you’re good at math (like the Complimentary Spouse), you’ll notice that the Daily Dave isn’t quite so daily. The average is a post every 2.5 days. I’m not changing the name of the blog, though. The Dailyish Dave doesn’t have the same ring. ↩︎
  3. Which should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody. ↩︎
Categories
LGBTQ

🏳️‍🌈 Lesbians to Subaru: We Hear You Loud and Queer

Subaru logo with a pink overlay.

Not everyone bursts out of the closet. Some take their time, send subtle signals, test the waters, and — when they feel they’re ready — jump to the head of the parade.

That’s what Subaru did.

In the early ’90s, Subaru began winking at lesbian car buyers. The messages were coded so carefully that they would go over a straight person’s head. But lesbians, and the LGBTQ community as a whole, knew exactly what was going on.

It was like sneaking a game of footsie under the dinner table.

This is part of my Gayskool project:
A new LGBTQ-themed post every day for Pride month.

Subtext Is Everything

Today, the clues will seem obvious, even to many straight people. At the time, though, they were cleverly hidden in plain sight.

Here are a few examples.

She Was a Fast Machine, She Kept Her Motor Clean, She Was the Best Damn Woman That I Ever Seen

First, a quick ad that, depending on your point of view, either pokes fun at or perpetuates lesbian stereotypes.

Subaru ad that sounds like a dating profile.
I love camp, but not this type.
You’re On The Right Track Baby …

While everyone was embroiled in the nature vs. nurture debate, Subaru coopted one of the key talking points to say four-wheel drive was standard on all vehicles and not a choice. At the time, “Not a choice” was a rallying cry for LGBTQ people — our enemies were adamant that homosexuality was not an innate trait but something that could be unlearned.

Subaru ads with "It's not a choice" language.
Safety isn’t a preference.
Aced It!

Subaru knew what it was doing when it tapped tennis icon Martina Navratilova as its spokesperson.

Straight people, even those aware of her sexuality, would see a top-tier athlete with more hardware than Home Depot (she has nine of those fancy silver dishes from Wimbledon, just for starters) talking about a car company.

But LGBTQ people knew Navratilova as an icon and activist, and her endorsement carried a lot of weight.

This 1990 TV ad features Navratilova and three other athletes: pro golfers Juli Inkster and Meg Mallon and Olympic skier Diann Roffe.

What makes this ad so fiendishly clever is that straight audiences would take it at face value — four athletes poking fun at the “I’m just a girl” trope to tout Subaru’s performance. LGBTQ audiences would also pick up on the fact that lesbians admired all four women.

What do we know? Quite a bit more than you’re letting on, Subaru.
Artistic License

And now, my absolute favorite ad. It screams lesbian — but only if you know what you’re looking for.

A straight audience would see Subaru touting the versatility of their vehicles — there’s a model for everyone!

LGBTQ people would have immediately picked up on the license plates:

  • CAMP OUT: Like in the first example above, camping would have been an activity associated with a lesbian stereotype. Plus, the word “out” makes the message abundantly clear. (Note the rainbow flag on the back bumper: This symbol was much less prevalent and known in the ’90s than today.)
  • XENA LVR: Xena: Warrior Princess was a campy TV show with a massive lesbian following. Xena and another character, Gabrielle, were the hottest lesbian couple1 ever to appear in syndication, even though the actors (Lucy Lawless Renee O’Connor) said they were playing it straight, so to speak.2
  • P TOWNIE: Provincetown, Massachusetts, is an LGBTQ enclave at the very end of Cape Cod. If you didn’t know that, you’d think Provincetown was just another picturesque seaside beach town. And if you’d never heard of Provincetown to begin with, the license plate would have no meaning.
Subaru ad with lesbian-coded license plates.
The license plates read CAMP OUT, XENA LVR, and P TOWNEE.

The Drive to Succeed

Don’t give me credit for figuring any of this out. Many people have reported, researched, and analyzed Subaru’s not-so-secret lesbian strategy:

The tl;dr is that Subaru wasn’t performing well financially and decided to host focus groups for buyers in cities with strong sales, like Northhampton, Mass., and Portland, Ore.

The focus groups were filled with lesbians. These were out and proud lesbians with money to spend and a penchant for practical cars. Subaru had found its target market. While every other car company was going after straight folks in the suburbs, Subaru was figuring out how to sneak Xena references into ads.3

In the early 2000s, Subaru stopped winking at LGBTQ customers. It was time to make the relationship public. Subaru sponsored events, programs, and even the first LGBTQ satellite radio station. It also contributed to AIDS research and LGBTQ advocacy groups, like the Human Rights Campaign.

From where I sit — which, if I’m in the car, is behind the wheel of a Subaru Forester — Subaru’s efforts have paid off. Subaru is one of those brands that LGBTQ people seem to love and trust. Unlike the pinkwishy-washy companies I identified a few days ago, Subaru has demonstrated true allyship that goes well beyond rainbows and Pride flags. It has spoken our language for 30 years, embraced us publicly for 20 years, and has even used its clout as a major employer to speak against anti-LGBTQ legislation.

The road ahead looks bright for Subaru. And I know a lot of LGBTQ people will come along for the ride.

______

  1. If you’re into that kind of thing. ↩︎
  2. Oh, don’t believe me? Just watch this. And keep in mind that this video is just Part 1 of a series about Xena and Gabrielle. ↩︎
  3. Subaru also had some ads with coded messages for gay men. For example: “Try me … I’m versatile” and “Nice package!” ↩︎
Categories
LGBTQ

🏳️‍🌈 Lessons From a Pink-Stained Wretch

Pink newspaper pages

One of the most important things an LGBTQ person can do is be out and outspoken in the workplace.

That’s what I learned when I was the only out reporter at The Tampa Tribune.1 2 I wasn’t a decision-maker, but I made sure the decision-makers knew about stories and issues that might otherwise go overlooked. In some cases, I wrote these stories myself. In others, I helped editors and fellow reporters with context and connections.

This makes a difference, especially in journalism. Newsrooms, regardless of politics, tend to be managed conservatively, which creates blind spots. I saw the impact female and BIPOC colleagues made when they shared their perspectives and experiences, and I felt compelled to do the same as an LGBTQ person.

This is part of my Gayskool project:
A new LGBTQ-themed post every day for Pride month.

(I’ve written about my time at the Tribune before: Take a look at My Out at Office Message to learn about Groundhog Day attempts to get same-sex domestic benefits.)

I’m proud that I stepped up and made a difference in the Tribune’s coverage of LGBTQ issues, even though, looking back, I know I could have done more. One article stands out in particular: It addressed trans employment issues at a time when trans issues were often considered confusing and controversial.

The story, by design, was not confusing or controversial.

I decided to write the article in early 2007, not long after the city manager in Largo, Fla., was fired after she announced she would begin transitioning. (If you think things are bad for trans people today in Florida, imagine what it was like 17 years ago. I can’t remember how our paper handled the story, but many media outlets were happy to treat the controversy as a carnival.)

I was out, covering business, and I knew what was happening in Largo was out of step with what was happening everywhere else. So, I pitched a story about trans professionals gaining acceptance and making headway in the business world.

I didn’t have to fight hard for the story. Editors saw the value. And I gave them more than 40 inches of my best stuff. (Get your mind out of the gutter. Newspaper articles are measured in column inches. This is about 1,300 words, not including a sidebar.)

This story stands out years later because of how matter-of-factly it approached the issue. This, as I said, was done deliberately — it was a story about good business, not culture wars. I felt no need to bring false balance to the article: What would I have done? Interviewed Fred Phelps about trans employment laws? How would that have been different from interviewing David Duke about the EEOC?

Believe it or not, the story calmly addressed the bathroom issue at least a decade before it became a conservative cause célèbre. After noting it was a touchy subject, the article said:

Berry, of Out & Equal, said her organization suggests that employees use the bathroom for the gender that matches their outward appearance. Employees presenting themselves as women should use the women’s room, and those presenting themselves as men should use the men’s room.

See? These things can be discussed with common sense when the reporter knows there’s no trans boogeyman lurking in the corner of every women’s restroom.

I’m not bringing this up to pat myself on the back, but to point out what someone can achieve at work when they have a voice at the table. If I weren’t in the newsroom then, I don’t think anyone would have thought of this article. And, if they did, they might not have approached it the same way as an LGBTQ person.

So, Dave, Are You Gonna Let Us Read the Damn Article?

Sheesh. There’s no need to yell. I hear you. Here’s the article, which I’m fairly sure I can share without violating copyright and fair use laws.3

A few bullets before you dive into the story:

  • Susan Stanton was still identifying herself as Steven and using he/him pronouns at the time. In fact, I don’t think she had announced her new name. Nonetheless, seeing the wrong name and pronouns in the first two grafs makes me uncomfortable today.
  • Brogan-Kator gave me permission to use her former name.
  • A caption, which I didn’t write, used the term “sex change.” I had a shit fit when I saw it in print.
  • The headline should have been “Businesses Finding Profit in Diversity.” It’s not wrong as is, but it’s misleading: Most people will interpret it to mean it refers to a single business, but in this case, it’s referring to the business world as a whole.

Business Finding Profit in Diversity

Transgender Acceptance is Part of the Bottom Line

Steve Stanton’s employment saga might have turned out differently if he worked for corporate America.

Largo decided to fire the city manager after the public learned he is transgender and plans to begin the lengthy process of transitioning into a woman. On Feb. 27, by a vote of 5 to 2, the city commission voted to place him on paid leave and begin the process of firing him. A public hearing is scheduled for tonight, and Stanton is expected to appeal the decision to fire him.

What happened in Largo contrasts sharply with what’s happening in the business world, where an increasing number of companies are moving quickly to add gender identity to their antidiscrimination policies.

Today, one-fourth of all Fortune 500 companies include gender identity in their written nondiscrimination policies, according to the Human Rights Campaign, a nonprofit organization based in Washington. That figure has risen dramatically from three years ago, when 7 percent of Fortune 500 companies could claim such a policy, and it is expected to continue growing.

Mara Keisling, executive director for the National Center for Transgender Equality in Washington, cites two reasons: First, businesses recognize the value of a diverse workforce and want to recruit and retain talented workers; and second, transgender workers are speaking up and asking employers for equal protection.

When employees aren’t worried about being fired for reasons not related to their workplace performance, they’re more productive and effective, Keisling said.

Selisse Berry, executive director for Out & Equal Workplace Advocates in San Francisco, said that a diverse, inclusive workplace helps employers reach out to all kinds of prospective workers — not just those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

“A lot of companies are recognizing that, in a way, LGBT issues in general — that is, sexual orientation and gender identity — are kind of the litmus test for any progressive-minded person,” she said. “They know that if those policies are in place that it’s going to be a company that provides work-life balance and provides benefits for everyone.”

Gender identity refers to how a person identifies him- or herself. Most men have a male gender identity; most women have a female gender identity. A transgender person’s gender identity doesn’t match the gender he or she was born with.

Denise Brogan-Kator knows firsthand what it’s like to work for a company that discriminates against transgender workers.

Brogan-Kator recalls working as the vice president of finance for a medical products company in Pinellas County in the early 1990s. She said she was hired to help turn around the company, which was having such dire liquidity issues that it had problems making payroll.

At that time, Brogan-Kator went by the name David and presented herself as a man in the office. When the owner discovered Brogan-Kator was transgender, she was escorted from the office.

“I was there four or five years. Some months before he terminated me, he had written me a letter praising me and thanking me for having turned his company around,” she said. “It made me feel like you would expect it would make me feel.”

A Rough Landing

Brogan-Kator landed next with a software company in Tampa. “I told my boss that I was going to transition from male to female,” she said. “He suggested I do it somewhere else.”

Brogan-Kator eventually went to work as chief financial officer for Blue Ocean Software, a Tampa-based company that was purchased by Intuit in 2002 and later sold off to become NumaraSoftware. Although she had legally changed her first name to Denise when she was hired at Blue Ocean, she applied for the job as David.

When she explained the different names to company founder Russ Hobbs, her boss, “he sort of dropped his jaw and said, ‘What’s that about?’” she said.

Then, Brogan-Kator said, “he said, ‘I don’t care about that. If you can do the job, that’s what I care about.’”

Brogan-Kator still swells when she recalls that moment.

“For Russ to say that —truly, it’s a cliché, but it was a breath of fresh air. It was, I thought, this is what life is supposed to be like,” she said.

Brogan-Kator said she thrived at Blue Ocean Software, helping the company negotiate a large venture funding deal and then orchestrating the Intuit acquisition. She continued to present herself as David in the office, but when it became apparent the Intuit deal was going to close, she began the process of transitioning to a woman.

“By the time I left the company, my hair was at my shoulders and it was common knowledge,” she said.

‘Denise Did A Great Job’

Hobbs, who left Blue Ocean Software after the Intuit deal, said he has no regrets about hiring Brogan-Kator.

“I’m happy to say that our experience with Denise was only another example of a diverse individual doing an outstanding job and contributing towards the team’s success,” he said in an e-mail message.

“Denise did a great job, and was well-liked and highly regarded by her co-workers as well as the banking and legal professionals with whom she interacted.”

After leaving Intuit, Brogan-Kator enrolled in the University of Michigan Law School. She graduated in December and she and her partner, Mary Kator, intend to open a law firm that helps lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in discrimination cases.

“It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do after I got fired the first time,” she said. “I went to a lawyer and asked how this could happen — how could he be firing me for something outside my scope of employment. He said, ‘I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is.’ I was appalled.”

At many companies, the question isn’t whether to include gender identity in the nondiscrimination policy but how to craft those policies so transgender employees are treated fairly.

A written nondiscrimination policy is just a first step, said Keisling, of the National Center for Transgender Equality. Companies also must make sure they’ve got procedures in place for updating an employee’s gender and first name in corporate records and to comply with medical privacy rules.

And, Keisling said, companies must be prepared to deal with one of the touchiest transgender issues of all: the bathroom issue.

Berry, of Out & Equal, said her organization suggests that employees use the bathroom for the gender that matches their outward appearance. Employees presenting themselves as women should use the women’s room, and those presenting themselves as men should use the men’s room.

If a company doesn’t have a written antidiscrimination policy that covers gender identity, an employee has little recourse if he or she is fired for being transgender. Federal and state laws offer few protections, and only a handful of cities and counties across the country have laws protecting transgender people from employee discrimination.

Employment lawyer Theresa Gallion, a managing partner at Fisher & Phillips LLP in Tampa and Orlando, said she typically fields one call a week from a company concerned about a transgender employee.

“I’m happy to report that nine out of 10 times, the nature of the communication is, ‘How do we accommodate this person?’” she said. “It’s usually a long-term valued employee, and there are worries about boundary issues.”

Keisling said she expects more employers to follow the example set by corporate America and not Largo. “Employers are beginning to realize that people who are courageous enough to do this out in the open, like Mr. Stanton, are examples of the kind of employees they want,” she said. “The kind of courage and focus and determination that Steve is showing are just remarkable characteristics in an employee.”


______

  1. A once-fine newspaper that, years after I left, got strangled by investors, dipped its toe in bigotry, and then was shuttered without warning one morning by its rival. ↩︎
  2. The title of this blog post is a play on “ink-stained wretch,” my favorite term for a newspaper reporter. I wasn’t so much ink-stained as I was wretched, but I loved being a journalist. ↩︎
  3. My reasoning as a non-lawyer person: First, since The Tampa Tribune no longer exists, I assume this content is owned by the Tampa Bay Times. Second, the Times’ privacy policy permits people to copy content from its site as long as it is for personal, non-commercial use. This is a personal blog that does not generate revenue, and I have no plans to monetize it. Third, if the copyright does, in fact, belong to The Tampa Bay Times, I’ll state clearly now that the article is © The Tampa Bay Times, and all rights are reserved. Fourth, this content is being used to inform and educate people, which means sharing it here may fall under the fair use doctrine for copyrighted material. And, fifth, I wrote the damn thing. That’s gotta count for something, right? ↩︎
Categories
Current Events LGBTQ

🏳️‍🌈 Pinkwishy-Washing

Pride items in a Target store

Plenty of companies hoist the Pride flag in June, but not all do it out of allyship. They want to polish their image, sell rainbow-colored merchandise, and — even worse — distract us from their support of anti-gay organizations and politicians.

These superficial gestures are called pinkwashing. It’s a topic I haven’t addressed yet in Gayskool, but I will soon.

Instead, I’d like to talk about an alarming new trend that I’m calling pinkwishy-washing.1 This is when a company scales back its support for the LGBTQ community in the face of criticism from our enemies.

We’re here for you, they say, except when people are mad at us.

Two examples come to mind.

This is part of my Gayskool project:
A new LGBTQ-themed post every day for Pride month.

Bud Light

Last year, Bud Light backpedaled after a partnership with Dylan Mulvaney, a trans influencer, turned into a bigot-backed firestorm.

What kind of marketing campaign could cause so much ire? Super Bowl ads? Billboards on every corner? A huge trans flag on every bottle and can?

Nope.

They send Dylan some personalized cans of beer to celebrate the first anniversary of her transition. That’s all.

Bud Light’s response was to defend their bottom line, not to defend Mulvaney. That didn’t go over well. After losing support from the bigot community, they lost support from the LGBTQ community. Their parent company, Anheuser-Busch, was downgraded significantly in the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index.

Target

Target was also targeted (sorry) by the usual suspects last year. You’ve already seen how a single Instagram post triggered a huge ignorant outburst, so you can imagine the collective conservative convulsions over a major retailer promoting Pride merchandise in June.

Target responded by moving or removing some of its Pride displays and products. The company said it was to protect workers, but to many LGBTQ customers, this seemed like a convenient excuse for acquiescing to bigotry.

This year, Target has cut back its Pride offerings and won’t even sell the items in some stores. I live near two Targets, and you must hunt to find anything with a rainbow. That certainly wasn’t the case last year.

Tiny, hard-to-find selection of Pride items at Target.
Not only is Target selling fewer Pride items than last year, but they’ve also made them harder to find. This paltry selection was tucked away in the women’s clothing section and is easy to miss. Last year, the Pride section was located at the front of the store, looked much more attractive, and had better signage.

The Insidiousness of Pinkwishy-Washing

Both Bud Light and Target chose expedience over integrity when confronted by conservative extremists, and it didn’t turn out well for either of them. Spinelessness isn’t a long-term solution.

The true cost of pinkwishy-washing isn’t what shows up on balance sheets and in survey results. It’s the unfortunate and unforgivable message it sends. It’s the precedent it sets. And it’s the way a few companies cast doubt on the sincerity and strength of allies.

Carl Nassib, the retired NFL player who made history when he came out, has the best take I’ve seen on pinkwishy-washing. He recently told the Advocate:

These brands just have no grit to them. They see bad comments on their social feeds, and they just back off.

If they think the comments are bad for them, just imagine what kids are going through when they see it. And then the brands cave to the hate, and what message does that send to these kids?

They should see that hate still exists and there’s work to be done to fight that hate.

They should lean into the progress rather than go backwards, and they should stick to supporting our community in the long run.

Carl Nassib

Bravo, Carl.

Footnote
  1. Can I trademark this? ↩︎