Dave
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Great Pâté, Mom, But I Gotta Motor if I Wanna Be Ready for the Four Questions
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing jeans1, a purple Nike polo shirt, and a pair of Disney Jungle Cruise socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave is inconvenienced. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Linus is trying to sit in Dave’s lap, making it difficult to type. What are…
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Leave the Gun. Take the Four Questions.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing jeans, an American Foundation for Suicide Prevention1 T-shirt, and a pair of Pluto2 socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave is contemplative. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is trying to figure out some career stuff. What is Dave’s coffee situation? Dave hasn’t…
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I Want to Forge a New Path
One of the most frustrating challenges in my life has been figuring out where I fit into the professional world. I left college hoping to make a mark as a reporter, and was fortunate enough to leave that career path for a position in professional services before newspapers caved in.1…
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I Have Always Depended on the Kindness of the Four Questions
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is modeling jeans, a gray V-neck T-shirt, and a very seductive pair of white tube socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave is a tad sluggish. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave was up late watching the Alabama game. He went to sleep about…
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Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer
Everyone at Camp David will be rooting for the Crimson Tide tonight. The Complimentary Spouse has been an Alabama diehard since he was in utero, and Dave became a fan by osmosis. Sadly, Britt and I won’t be at tonight’s championship game against the Ohio State University Buckeyes1 — and,…
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“That’s Not Who I Am”
Out: “Top Golfer, Justin Thomas, Uses ‘Inexcusable’ Homophobic Slur” Ever notice that anytime something like this happens, the first response is “that’s not who I am.” Actually, it is who you are. Your character is revealed by what you do when you think no one’s listening, not when you’re in…
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Hypocrisy in 17 Syllables
A haiku: “We want unity!”Say the folks whose T-shirts said,“Trump: Fuck your Feelings.”
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I Love the Smell of the Four Questions in the Morning
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing a Buccaneers T-shirt, gray sweatpants (because he’s classy), and blue socks with pictures of cassettes on them. How does Dave feel today? Dave is sluggish. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave hasn’t had coffee yet. How is Dave adjusting to his…
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Who Lives in a Pineapple and Throws a TD?
Unlike the Complimentary Spouse, I’m something of a passive sports fan. I enjoy soccer, football, hockey, baseball, and more, but I don’t follow every single goal, touchdown, and home run. It’s not surprising to find me playing with my phone, only partially paying attention, while a game is on teevee.…