What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Pride T-shirt (the Pride rainbow in the shape of Florida), gray shorts, and Stan Smiths.
How does Dave feel today? Dave is conserving his energy.
What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is resting up this afternoon because he and the Complimentary Spouse are going to a drive-in socially distanced drag show tonight.
What snacks will Dave bring to the show? Dave was going to make Derrick Berries, Miss Crackers, Victoria Porkchop Parkers, a Baga Chips, and a Lil’ Poundcake, but who has the time? Instead, he has picked up these goodies from Trader Joe’s: Organic Corn Chip Dippers and Corn and Chile Tomato-Less Salsa.
A few days ago, I wrote about how much I missed live music and shared a few videos from 2019. Here’s a clip from another concert I absolutely loved: Lily Allen’s No Shame Tour at Terminal 5 in New York on October 20, 2018. This is one of my favorite songs of all time.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an Emory T-shirt, jeans, and a pair of rainbow unicorn socks (which are a real thing he owns).
How does Dave feel today? Dave is refreshed.
What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave’s afternoon consisted of a nap, a haircut, and a trip to Publix to buy ice cream.
What episode of Love It or List It is Dave watching right now? Dave is watching the episode in which Hilary runs out of money and can’t complete all the projects she committed to while David doesn’t find a suitable house till the third try. (Dave wants to point out that the Complimentary Spouse chose this unpalatable program, and he would rather be watching the Muppet Show on Disney+.)
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is dressed for the (relatively) cold weather with a red Buccaneers polo shirt, heavy Adidas sweatshirt, jeans, and Pluto socks.
How does Dave feel today? Dave is fine now, but he’s steeling himself for some frustration later.
What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave has a meeting that he expects to be unnecessarily contentious.
Can Dave get out of this meeting? Dave can’t, as there’s not enough time to flee to Cancun (and he doesn’t have any daughters to throw under the bus).
One thing I miss from the pre-pandemic era is the concerts. I can complain all day about astronomical ticket prices, crummy opening acts, and how much I hate waiting for performers to take the stage. But none of those really matter, because a concert is a chance to experience music as a communal event. There’s a feeling that comes from sharing music that you simply don’t get by hearing it by yourself.
Here are some concert experiences from 2019.
Kiwi troubadour Neil Finn (one of the Complimentary Spouse’s favorite singers) joined Fleetwood Mac on their most recent tour.
Pink rocked her way through a Nirvana anthem. Nirvana’s music is practically sacred, but Pink is so awesome she gets a pass to cover any damn song she wants to.
The Indigo Girls wondered how long till their souls get it right. (This is one of my favorite songs of all time, and I wish I captured the beginning.)
If I were a baseball player, this would be one of my walk-up songs. Thanks, Sir Elton.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Real Madrid jersey (¡Hala Madrid!), light gray shorts, and Stan Smiths.
How does Dave feel today? Dave thinks he looks sharp.
What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave’s weird hair curl thing is at the exact length it needs to be. When the whorl is too short, it looks like a hair hurricane. When it’s too long, it looks like frayed burlap. When it’s just the right length, it kinda sorta looks like a Superman curl.
Why is Dave so concerned about his weird hair curl thing? Dave is a narcissistic bitch.
The other day, I felt a bit sick and told the Complimentary Spouse I was going to have a bissel of ginger ale. He knew exactly what I meant. At long last, the Yiddishification of my shaygetz husband is complete!
Yiddish might be a dying language, but I’m not letting it go without a fight. I believe certain ideas and concepts can only be conveyed appropriately after they have been filtered through centuries of Jewish scholarship, humor, misery, and joy. Translating a Yiddish word into English is possible, but it’s like photocopying a Van Gogh — you’ll get the picture, sure, but you can’t appreciate the artistry or experience the emotional impact.
Plus, Yiddish is just fun to pronounce. There’s a hint of musicality behind all those harsh Hebrew and German consonants, which makes for an amusing contrast. It’s no wonder Klezmer is so catchy and expressive.
While I can’t speak Yiddish fluently, a few words and terms have made my way into my everyday vocabulary. Here are a few I’d like to share with you. If Britt can learn them, you have no excuse!
Bissel: A little bit of something. Refer to the “a bissel of ginger ale” mention at the top of this post.
Chutzpah: This one is hard to translate into English, but it basically expresses a combination of nerve, audacity, and egotism. It takes a lot of chutzpah to demand an upgrade to first class on a bare-bones economy ticket.
Mazel Tov: Congratulations!
Mensch: An all-around kind, generous, kind man. Note that the subtitle for this blog is “the Mensch Manifesto.” I don’t know of a female equivalent, so I usually just use menschette.
Oy vey, oy veyismir, oy gevalt: Three general terms of annoyance, exasperation, and distress.
Plotz: To drop from exhaustion. I’m ready to plotz after a long day of touring a new city.
Putz: See my definition for schmuck.
Schlep: To carry something heavy, usually used as a complaint. I’ve schlepped my luggage many times through airports.
Schmaltzy: Overly sentimental. I don’t watch the Hallmark channel because I don’t want to see schmaltzy movies.
Schmatta: A rag. I use this term (without judgment) for a baby blanket and (with lots of judgment) for ugly clothes.
Schmuck: See my definition for putz.1 It’s also the unfortunate name of a jewelry store I saw in Budapest.
Schmutz: Dirt (or a dirty substance). I call the gunk that gets in your eyes (and the dogs’ eyes) “eye schmutz.”
Schtup: To screw, and not in the construction sense of that word.
Schvitz: To sweat, usually because it’s too hot and humid. I schvitz in the summers in Florida.
Shiksa and shaygetz: These Yiddish terms for non-Jewish women and men, respectively, are frequently used as put-downs.
Spiel: A long story. I like it when people get to the point without giving a whole spiel.
Tchotchke: A trinket or souvenir. I don’t buy tchotchkes when I travel anymore because there’s no place to put them.
1 Here’s a good example of a putz or schmuck: He’s the type of jerk who would make circular references in his blog post.
