What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a pink polo shirt and khaki shorts.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave is celebrating Linus’ third gotcha day. I still remember the day we adopted him.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says it’s time to get rid of your AOL email account.
Does Dave still have an AOL account? No, Dave doesn’t have an AOL account. The name he wanted was taken.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an Alabama polo shirt, brown shorts, and Stan Smiths.
What is making Dave happy today? David had a productive day at work and is now relaxing in front of the teevee with the Complimentary Spouse. We are watching the eight-part Bernardo Bertolucci retrospective on PBS.1
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says you have to fight for your right to party. Just ask Adore Delano.
Is there any kind of party that Dave would not fight for his right for? Many years ago, Britt and Dave were promised a make-your-own quesadilla bar at a party. They arrived to find a few bags of shredded cheese, tortillas, and one of those electric quesadilla makers you can buy for $15 at Target. Britt, Dave, and about ten other people spent most of the evening making small talk while standing around a table and making sad quesadillas one at a time. No one should fight for the right to that kind of party.
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1 Either that or reruns of RuPauls’ Drag Race All Stars. They’re very similar.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an Emory T-shirt, brown shorts, and a Chelsea cap.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave is grateful and relieved that Lucy is fine after a health scare earlier today. This afternoon, the Complimentary Spouse dropped a single red grape on the floor and Lucy lunged for it. Before Britt could pick it up, Lucy ate it. Grapes are highly toxic to dogs — in fact, eating just one grape can be fatal — so I rushed Lucy to the emergency vet. They checked her out and induced vomiting. The grape came up in one piece, which was good news, as it meant it hadn’t been digested. The vet then gave Lucy some fluids, made sure she was OK, and sent us home. After all the excitement, we lay down on the bed and took a little nap.
What’s Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says you can’t put a price on the health of a family member. (Well, actually, you can, and Dave has the invoice to prove it. But you know what he means.)
How is Lucy now? Dave says Lucy seems to be fine, but a little tired. She’s currently lying down next to Dave on the couch.
What is Dave wearing today? Since Dave’s not leaving the Camp David today (as he doesn’t want to deal with Gasparilla madness), he’s just lounging around in grey sweatpants, a pink sweatshirt, and comfy grey socks.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave loves these lazy Saturdays.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says to change the channel immediately when a show comes on that claims astronauts have located the Garden of Eden.
What is Dave’s greatest fear right now? Dave is worried that it might not actually be a lazy Saturday.
Today is Gasparilla, Tampa’s annual pirate-themed Mardi Gras-ish parade. As I write this, hundreds of thousands of drunken, rowdy people are crammed onto Bayshore Boulevard for beer, beads, and the occasional flash of boobs.
I enjoyed Gasparilla when I was younger. Today, I avoid it like the plague. The Complimentary Spouse and I celebrate Gasparilla by staying home with Lucy and Linus, who get agitated by all the noise and bark non-stop all day.
One year, I was the title sponsor of Gasparilla! Actually, the sponsor was the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel, but WFLA’s Gayle Guyardo said my last name on the air instead of “Seminole.” I saw the whole thing in real time on teevee and recorded a video:
I was just as confused as you by Guyardo’s slip-up. For many years, we worked for the same company: I was a newspaper reporter at the Tampa Tribune, which was owned by the same media group as WFLA. I used to do morning business reports and occasional packages for WFLA, so she certainly knew who I was.
However, I left the paper in 2008, and this happened in 2018. That means Guyardo accidentally blurted out my name even though we had had no contact whatsoever for 10 years. I guess I’m so charismatic that people never forget me.
Guyardo seemed a little bit tipsy on the air, so that my have played a factor in her slip. Quite a few people commented on her apparent inebriation, and I think she later said she was on cold medicine.
Was it alcohol? Medicine? Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that for a second or two, I was the sponsor of one of the biggest parades in the United States.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a blue dress shirt, blue sweater, brown jeans, and black Adidas shoes.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave had a very productive day at work and is now at the theater with the Complimentary Spouse to see Hamlet. We had some nice views of downtown all lit up for Gasparilla as we walked here.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says all the world’s a stage and the tickets are way too expensive.
What is Dave’s favorite Shakespeare play? Dave likes a lot of Shakespeare, but is fond of a Midsummer’s Night Dream. It’s the one in which Lysander says, “So quick bright things come to confusion,” which describes anything from the Egyptians to the Kardashians.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a blue-and-white octopus print button-down shirt, khaki shorts, white socks, and Stan Smiths.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave got a lot accomplished at work today, and he might reward himself with a cookie from Crumbl.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says that if you’re procrastinating because a project looks boring, just commit to doing 10 minutes of work. The whole thing will probably be done before you know it.
What comes to Dave’s mind every time he hears the word “irony”? Unlike most people, who think of this Alanis Morissette song …
… Dave recalls this malapropism from the Simpsons:
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an Alabama polo shirt and grey sweatpants. He looks professional on Zoom calls, but is comfortable from the waist down.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave is fully over his sore throat, had a productive day at work, and is looking forward to book club tonight.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave says to be compassionate to yourself — not just the you that exists today, but all the different yous that existed before.
What is Linus up to right now? Linus is lying on a soft pillow, crossing his paws, and licking his lips after eating a tasty dinner. He lives the life of Riley.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave looks stunning in a long-sleeve baseball T-shirt (white shirt with blue sleeves), khaki shorts, a black hoodie, and black Adidas shoes.
What is making Dave happy today? Dave didn’t do much today except cuddle with Lucy and Linus. It was a perfect day.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave, reflecting on this lazy day, is reminded of this quote from Calvin: “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
What is Dave’s go-to karaoke song? Dave is prohibited from doing karaoke. His singing voice is so bad that it has been classified as a form of torture, and is therefore banned by the Geneva Convention.
What is Dave wearing today? Dave still feels sick, so he’s just wearing grey sweatpants and a red Buc-ee’s T-shirt.
What is making Dave happy today? After three days with a fever and sore throat, Dave feels like he’s finally turning the corner.
What is Dave’s inspirational thought for the day? Dave found the quote in “And There Was Light,” Jon Meacham’s new biography of Abraham Lincoln:
It is a fact of American history that we are not always good, but that goodness is possible. Not universal, not ubiquitous, not inevitable — but possible.
Jon Meacham, “And There Was Light”
Why can’t Dave move his leg right now? Linus is sleeping with his head resting on Dave’s leg. Dave doesn’t want to wake up the little rascal.