• Leave the Gun. Take the Four Questions.

    What is Dave wearing today?Ā Dave is wearing jeans, an American Foundation for Suicide Prevention1 T-shirt, and a pair of Pluto2 socks. How does Dave feel today?Ā Dave is contemplative. What are the factors affecting Daveā€™s mood today?Ā Dave is trying to figure out some career stuff. What is Dave’s coffee situation?Ā Dave hasn’t…

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  • I Want to Forge a New Path

    One of the most frustrating challenges in my life has been figuring out where I fit into the professional world. I left college hoping to make a mark as a reporter, and was fortunate enough to leave that career path for a position in professional services before newspapers caved in.1…

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  • I Have Always Depended on the Kindness of the Four Questions

    What is Dave wearing today? Dave is modeling jeans, a gray V-neck T-shirt, and a very seductive pair of white tube socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave is a tad sluggish. What are the factors affecting Daveā€™s mood today? Dave was up late watching the Alabama game. He went to sleep about…

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  • Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer

    Everyone at Camp David will be rooting for the Crimson Tide tonight. The Complimentary Spouse has been an Alabama diehard since he was in utero, and Dave became a fan by osmosis. Sadly, Britt and I won’t be at tonight’s championship game against the Ohio State University Buckeyes1 ā€” and,…

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  • Yo No Estoy Llorando. TĆŗ Estas Llorando.

    Comida chatarra. Mensaje maravilloso.

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  • ā€œThatā€™s Not Who I Amā€

    Out: “Top Golfer, Justin Thomas, Uses ‘Inexcusable’ Homophobic Slur” Ever notice that anytime something like this happens, the first response is ā€œthatā€™s not who I am.ā€ Actually, it is who you are. Your character is revealed by what you do when you think no one’s listening, not when you’re in…

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  • Hypocrisy in 17 Syllables

    A haiku: ā€œWe want unity!ā€Say the folks whose T-shirts said,ā€œTrump: Fuck your Feelings.ā€

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  • I Love the Smell of the Four Questions in the Morning

    What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing a Buccaneers T-shirt, gray sweatpants (because heā€™s classy), and blue socks with pictures of cassettes on them. How does Dave feel today? Dave is sluggish. What are the factors affecting Daveā€™s mood today? Dave hasnā€™t had coffee yet. How is Dave adjusting to his…

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  • Who Lives in a Pineapple and Throws a TD?

    Unlike the Complimentary Spouse, Iā€™m something of a passive sports fan. I enjoy soccer, football, hockey, baseball, and more, but I donā€™t follow every single goal, touchdown, and home run. Itā€™s not surprising to find me playing with my phone, only partially paying attention, while a game is on teevee.…

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  • Some Thoughts About Parler and Free Speech

    You wonā€™t find many people more outspoken about free speech than me. And thatā€™s why Iā€™m going to call bullshit on everybody whoā€™s crying foul over Parlerā€™s removal from Google Play, the Apple App Store, and Amazon Web Services. The First Amendment is very specific. It says the government can…

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