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Every May 10, the Four Questions Gather to Drive Snakes to the Center of Town and Whack Them to Snake Heaven
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a devil costume and brandishing maracas. How does Dave feel today? Dave is giddy with anticipation. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? Today is Whacking Day, our hallowed snake skull…
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How Much Are the Four Questions in the Window?
What is Dave wearing today? Dave doesnāt know what heās wearing because heās covered in dog hair. How does Dave feel today? Dave feels the weight of two dogs playing on top of him. What are the factors affecting Daveās…
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Opulence! The Four Questions Own Everything!
What is Dave wearing today? Dave looks monochromatic in a gray polo shirt, a (different shade of) gray shorts, and white socks. How does Dave feel today? Dave feels inadequate. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? Dave has…
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The Four Questions Bring it to You Every Ball
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an Alabama polo shirt and shorts. How does Dave feel today? Dave is feeling emotional. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? The Complimentary Spouse and Dave just watched the second…
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The Ability to Destroy a Planet Is Insignificant Next to the Power of the Four Questions
What is Darth Dave wearing today? Darth Dave is wearing an all-black outfit, a black mechanical breastplate covered in switches and dials, and a black mask that hides his entire head. His lightsaber is attached to his belt. How does…
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Inside of a Dog, Itās too Dark to Read the Four Questions
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Bucs polo shirt, because yay sportsball! How does Dave feel today? Dave is doing great! What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? Dave has a busy but enjoyable week ahead,…
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Frankly, my Dear, I Donāt Give the Four Questions
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt and light tan shorts. How does Dave feel today? Dave is feeling a little bit anxious. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? Dave has had an enjoyable weekend (he…
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Hiring Shaq Doesnāt Guarantee a Slam Dunk
There are few things that delight me more than seeing a poorly conceived ad on teevee. Itās wasteful, and I cringe when I think about the armies of people who tossed wads of dollars into a creative effort that entirely…
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Godzilla vs. Kong vs. the Four Questions
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a blue T-shirt and light gray shorts. How does Dave feel today? Dave is content. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? After a long week, Dave is lying on the…
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The Four Questions Will Trade Their Fourth-Round Draft Pick for a bag of Bugles and a Candy Bar to Be Named Later
What is Dave wearing today? Fire the cannons! Dave is wearing a Bucs polo shirt and light gray shorts. How does Dave feel today? Dave is a bit sore but very relaxed. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today?…
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My Fine-Feathered Friends
I see these birds all the time on my morning runs. I have identified them in the past as double-breasted cormorants, but people seem to insist they are actually anhingas because their beaks are straight and not curved. I stand…
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Nolite the Four Questions Carborundorum
What is Dave wearing today? Dave is keeping the blue flag flying high with a Chelsea T-shirt and gray shorts. How does Dave feel today? Dave is concerned. What are the factors affecting Daveās mood today? Dave just watched the…