Four Questions

B-Ball for the F-Four Q-Questions

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is going all out today — a USA Men’s Soccer Team T-shirt and a pair of shorts. He’s ready for any and all formal events the day may bring.

How does Dave feel today? Dave feels pretty damn good. 

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave’s high school friends visited Tampa yesterday, 

What’s on Dave’s agenda for today? Dave and the Complimentary Spouse are heading to their second Tampa Bay Raptors game today. As you might recall, they had a great time at last Saturday’s game.

Four Questions

The Four Questions Are Sad Today

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing his gray Mickey Mouse polo shirt and a pair of shorts.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is devastated.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave learned today that one of his former colleagues was killed on her bike yesterday by a driver who may have been under the influence. Dave and Janine had kept in touch through Facebook. She had recently fallen in love and was in a really happy place.

What is Dave watching now on teevee? Dave is in no mood to watch today’s episode of the Handmaid’s Tale. He and the Complimentary Spouse are watching reruns of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.

Four Questions

Have You Ever Danced With the Four Questions in the Pale Moonlight?

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an armored black latex bodysuit with a cowl and a cape.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is exhausted.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is worn out because he’s a billionaire playboy by day and a costumed vigilante at night.

What is Dave’s Superhero Name? Dave is Batmensch.



The Complimentary Spouse and I went to an NBA game Saturday night. It was my first basketball game in more than two decades — my brother and I went to an Orlando Magic game sometime in the ’90s, but I don’t recall exactly when. After this weekend’s experience, I’m hooked on live basketball!

In general, I prefer live sports to games on teevee. Being at home is more comfortable, to be sure, and close-ups, color commentary, and replays are great. But there’s nothing like being part of a communal experience.1 And, at live games, there’s no filter between you and the game.

Live basketball games are fast. They’re fun. They’re fantastic. The thing I enjoyed the most was the music — it’s played throughout the action, which does three things:

  • It creates a party-like atmosphere
  • It provides cues about which team has the ball
  • It keeps people engaged during those lulls when the gameplay isn’t so thrilling

Compare this to hockey, football, and baseball. Music is reserved for the period between plays or used as walk-up songs. Basketball uses music to heighten the experience in a way those other sports don’t.2

What made Saturday’s game extra special was that we went with my cousin and his daughter, who were visiting Tampa for the weekend. Regrettably, we couldn’t sit together. We got our tickets before they made their plans, and Ticketmaster wouldn’t let us add two adjoining tickets to our seats for Rich and Sabrina. When we got to Amalie Arena, we found out why. To deal with Covid, the arena has locked up most of the seats with plastic ties. Therefore, the ones next to Britt and me were unusable — even if Rich and Sabrina snuck down to our section, they wouldn’t have been able to unfold the seats.

I was impressed with how Amalie Arena has responded to Covid. Seating is limited, concession areas have dividers between the staff and the customers, and mask rules were enforced.

You might wonder how Britt and I could see a live basketball game in Tampa when our area doesn’t have a basketball team. Well, since Covid has restricted travel between the United States and Canada, the Toronto Raptors have made Tampa their temporary home. We’re good hosts: We’ve gone all out with Raptors digital signage, including ads for Canadian and Toronto-based businesses. Lots of Raptors fans were in the stands. The only things missing were poutine, Tim Horton’s, and people saying “aboot.” 

Britt and I already have tickets to another Raptors game. And I think we’re going to try to work some games into our future travels.

Here’s a video and some photos:

1 This is also why I like seeing movies in the theater, even though it’s expensive.
2 I wonder if the players like it. I think it must be distracting for them.

Four Questions

Every May 10, the Four Questions Gather to Drive Snakes to the Center of Town and Whack Them to Snake Heaven

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a devil costume and brandishing maracas.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is giddy with anticipation.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Today is Whacking Day, our hallowed snake skull cracking day! Everyone loves Whacking Day.

Is Dave having second thoughts about Whacking Day? Dave just had a change of heart, thanks to the wisdom of Barry White.

Four Questions

How Much Are the Four Questions in the Window?

What is Dave wearing today? Dave doesn’t know what he’s wearing because he’s covered in dog hair.

How does Dave feel today? Dave feels the weight of two dogs playing on top of him.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave was just lying on the sofa, listening to Talking Heads, and the doggos decided to jump on his chest and tussle with each other.

How is Dave typing with two dogs lying on top of him? Very slowly.

Four Questions

Opulence! The Four Questions Own Everything!

What is Dave wearing today? Dave looks monochromatic in a gray polo shirt, a (different shade of) gray shorts, and white socks.

How does Dave feel today? Dave feels inadequate.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave has yet to master the five elements of vogue: catwalk, duckwalk, hands, dips and spins, and floor performance. This may be related to the fact that Dave has never taken a dance lesson and has no discernible sense of rhythm.

If Dave started a ballroom house, what would it be called? As most houses are named after fashion icons, Dave can envision himself as father of the House of Garanimals.

Four Questions

The Four Questions Bring it to You Every Ball

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing an Alabama polo shirt and shorts.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is feeling emotional.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? The Complimentary Spouse and Dave just watched the second episode of the third season of Pose.

Did Dave have a favorite part of this episode? Dave enjoyed the episode from start to finish, but these parts stand out: the ballroom scene, Elektra’s intervention letter to Pray, and this line: “The category is not dictator realness.”

Four Questions

The Ability to Destroy a Planet Is Insignificant Next to the Power of the Four Questions

What is Darth Dave wearing today? Darth Dave is wearing an all-black outfit, a black mechanical breastplate covered in switches and dials, and a black mask that hides his entire head. His lightsaber is attached to his belt.

How does Darth Dave feel today? Darth Dave feels somewhat conflicted about destroying Alderaan.

What are the factors affecting Darth Dave’s mood today? Darth Dave was very upset when Princess Leia wouldn’t offer up the location of the hidden rebel base, so he and Governor Tarkin decided to test out the full power of their new battle station on Leia’s homeworld, even though she protested that Alderaan was peaceful and had no weapons. The explosion was rather loud, which is puzzling as sound waves can’t be carried in the vacuum of space.

Does Darth Dave have exciting plans for tonight? Originally, Darth Dave had intended to fix up some of the exhaust ports that lead to the main reactor. However, he’s decided to put that chore off till tomorrow. Instead, he’ll make popcorn and watch The Wrath of Khan.

Happy Star Wars Day!

A confession: This is copied and pasted from the Four Questions a few years ago. Please don’t put a price on my head so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for me. I will shoot first.

Four Questions

Inside of a Dog, It’s too Dark to Read the Four Questions

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Bucs polo shirt, because yay sportsball!

How does Dave feel today? Dave is doing great!

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave has a busy but enjoyable week ahead, and family from New York is visiting this weekend.

Has Dave ever been caught between the moon and New York City? No, but Dave got a photo of the moon before sunrise this morning. It ain’t bad for a cellphone picture!