Categories
Entertainment LGBTQ

The Birdcage: Some Thoughts 25 Years Later

I have been thinking about the Birdcage, the 1996 film starring Robin Williams1 and Nathan Lane, since someone mentioned it at work a few days ago. I hadn’t reflected on the film since it came out 25 years ago, and I was surprised to realize how much I resent it now.

Why am I surprised? Because I loved it when I saw it! I remember roaring with laughter in the movie theater. Some scenes — like the one where Robin Williams choreographs a dance number — are comedy classics. (Fosse! Fosse! Fosse!) And even though I haven’t seen this film in decades, I vividly remember the opening credits, with a seamless shot that started in the Atlantic and ended up inside an Ocean Drive nightclub. How’d they do that?

But here’s what really made the film special: In 1996, I was in the process of coming out. I think I was still talking to a psychologist about it, and I hadn’t said anything to friends, family, and work colleagues. It was validating to see gay people on the big screen, especially a gay couple that wasn’t beset by tragedy.2 There was a real sense of joy and celebration. It was exactly what I needed at the time.

But, in 2021, all I can do is cringe when I remember the Birdcage. Much of the humor comes from stereotypes — especially those about effeminate gay men. I have no issue with effeminacy3, and I don’t like how the Birdcage treats it as a joke instead of validating it. At least Nathan Lane’s purse-carrying character has a tiny bit of depth. Hank Azaria’s character, Agador Spartacus, is nothing more than a mincing punchline.4

Am I being too harsh about the Birdcage? Yes, I probably am. It’s a comedy, and comedy sometimes works best when it’s painted with broad strokes. But the Birdcage doesn’t challenge us to think about stereotypes. It just plays them for laughs. That was OK in 1996, when I was craving any kind of representation in popular culture. Today, it just makes me uncomfortable. 

Now that I’m thinking about it, I suppose my disappointment today over the Birdcage is that it was one of the few films from my coming-out years that celebrated LGBTQ characters at the time. Compare it with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, which got cheap laughs by ridiculing a trans woman (who, surprise surprise, also turns out to be the villain).

Certainly, many films haven’t held up over time. The Birdcage is one of them. I’ll always be grateful for what it meant to me 25 years ago. I’m uncomfortable with it today, but perhaps that’s a good thing. It’s a reminder that culture has evolved beyond one-dimensional depictions of LGBTQ people. 


1 Rest in peace
2 Happy endings in gay films were practically unheard of at the time. Google “Bury Your Gays.”
3 In fact, I salute effeminate gay men. They’re braver than those who hide behind toxic masculine façades.5
4 This is yet another example of a gay character played by a straight actor. That means the role was stolen from a gay actor, and Azaria had no personal frame of reference for his portrayal.
5 I’m not sure where I fit on this spectrum. I sometimes wear my rainbow unicorn T-shirt while watching hockey. 

Categories
Four Questions

My Eyes! The Four Questions Do Nothing!

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Paisley Park T-shirt, jeans, and a pair of gray socks with black stars and stripes on them.

How does Dave feel today? Dave feels lazy.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave doesn’t have much on his schedule today, so he’s looking forward to relaxing.

What did Dave get at Starbucks last night? Dave tried an iced venti pistachio latte with almond milk. It cost $7, so Dave used a reward to pay for it. He thought it was delicious, and will order it again after taking out a second mortgage.

Categories
Running Travel & Food

On Your Marks …

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” — John “The Penguin” Bingham

Since the last iteration of the Daily Dave, I have lost quite a bit of weight and taken up running. I’m slower, heavier, and less coordinated than most runners — but those things aren’t important. All that matters is that several days a week, I lumber up and down Bayshore Boulevard at sunrise.

The scenery is spectacular. So are the dolphins, who join me from time to time. 

I have done some amazing things in running shoes. I muscled through the Marabana 10K in Havana — twice! I looped the Louvre in Paris and bolted past Buckingham Palace in London. Pluto offered me a hearty handshake — um, pawshake? — after I finished a 10K at Walt Disney World. And you can’t get much higher in Florida than when you run across the Sunshine Skyway.

Gotta run! Look for more posts about running in the future.

Categories
Four Questions

The Four Questions Will Have a Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte With an Extra Shot

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing a Tampa Bay Buccaneers T-shirt, blue Adidas zip-up hoodie, jeans, and white tube socks. 

How does Dave feel today? Dave is content.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is lying on the couch and listening to ’70s music. There are two doggos sleeping next to him.

Does Dave have any big plans for today? Dave and the Complimentary Spouse are headed to Publix and vegan bakery this morning. Later today, they’ll watch the second episode of WandaVision.

Categories
Four Questions

My Name Is the Four Questions. You Killed my Father. Prepare to Die.

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is rocking a Havana Industriales baseball cap, pink V-neck T-shirt, jeans, and floral socks. 

How does Dave feel today? Dave is somewhat relaxed.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is happy that the workweek is over, although he has some editing to do for the Complimentary Spouse this weekend.

What is Dave drinking right now? Dave is enjoying a diet ginger ale, the beverage of champions.

Categories
Four Questions

Great Pâté, Mom, But I Gotta Motor if I Wanna Be Ready for the Four Questions

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing jeans1, a purple Nike polo shirt, and a pair of Disney Jungle Cruise socks.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is inconvenienced.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Linus is trying to sit in Dave’s lap, making it difficult to type.

What are Dave’s thoughts on today’s political climate? Dave thinks things are just (im)peachy.


1 Yes, the same pair he wore yesterday. Who are you to judge?

Categories
Four Questions

Leave the Gun. Take the Four Questions.

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is wearing jeans, an American Foundation for Suicide Prevention1 T-shirt, and a pair of Pluto2 socks.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is contemplative.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is trying to figure out some career stuff.

What is Dave’s coffee situation? Dave hasn’t had any caffeine yet this morning, which means he’s prone to typing misteaks.


1 A very worthwhile organization. Please give them your attention, time, and money.
2 The dog, not the planet.3
3 Fine, Neil deGrasse Tyson, the FORMER planet.4
4 Yes, footnotes can have footnotes. It’s my blog and I’ll do what I want.

Categories
Oversharing Professional

I Want to Forge a New Path

One of the most frustrating challenges in my life has been figuring out where I fit into the professional world.

I left college hoping to make a mark as a reporter, and was fortunate enough to leave that career path for a position in professional services before newspapers caved in.1 Professional services seemed a good fit — until it didn’t. I then returned to school to earn two master’s degrees2, seeking out easy writing jobs that would allow me to focus on my studies. Now I find myself trapped in low-level writing roles that don’t take advantage of my talent or educational qualifications. 

The way I see it, prospective employers only care about what I’ve done, which is to deliver content.3 They don’t care about what I can do, especially with hard skills developed in graduate school and soft skills honed over decades in the workforce.

Tl;dr: I want to live up to my potential, but my past has pigeonholed me.

As you might expect, I’m frustrated. I’m struggling with how to proceed in my career. Job rejections — even for positions that only represent an incremental step forward — are demoralizing. Career development workshops are generic and haven’t proven useful. Networking is difficult in a pandemic.

My thinking now is that I need to completely reboot my career. I’ve found myself on a narrow path, and continuing the journey on it no longer appeals to me. I want to find a new route forward, one that aligns with my character and allows me to make valuable contributions.

This won’t be easy. Even though I don’t think I’ve traveled very far professionally, doing something completely new means I’ll throw away the professional capital I’ve accumulated. It means starting at Square One. I think that’s a step I need to take.

I’ll be writing more about this in the coming days and weeks. Writing forces me to organize my thoughts, and publishing it makes me accountable for my words. 


1 There was no advertising revenue to prop them up.
2 An MBA and a master’s in marketing.
3 I’m generally a modest person, but I don’t mind claiming that writing is something I do exceptionally well. But that doesn’t mean I want my professional life to be defined by it anymore.

Categories
Four Questions

I Have Always Depended on the Kindness of the Four Questions

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is modeling jeans, a gray V-neck T-shirt, and a very seductive pair of white tube socks.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is a tad sluggish.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave was up late watching the Alabama game. He went to sleep about halfway through the third quarter.

What is Dave’s dream job? Dave would like a job where he is paid to research what kinds of snack foods and candy are best to eat in bed while watching reruns of the Simpsons.

Categories
Sportsball

Rammer Jammer Yellowhammer

Everyone at Camp David will be rooting for the Crimson Tide tonight. The Complimentary Spouse has been an Alabama diehard since he was in utero, and Dave became a fan by osmosis.

Sadly, Britt and I won’t be at tonight’s championship game against the Ohio State University Buckeyes1 — and, even if we could be there, the University of Alabama Million Dollar Band can’t strut their stuff at halftime because of Covid. Here’s their performance from the Louisville-Alabama game we attended in Orlando in 2018.

Give ’em hell, Alabama!


1 There’s no fucking way I’m capitalizing the “the” in front of the school name. Brutus the Buckeye can suck it.