Categories
Whatnot

Where the Hell Has Dave Been?

Here are some possible explanations:

  • In the Witness Protection Program
  • Turned into a newt; had no fingers
  • Busy earning his Ph.D. in Parapsychology
  • On hold for Zune customer support
  • Living in a van down by the river
Categories
Whatnot

What Do I Need to Know About Dave’s Mustache?

It’s all explained here.

Categories
Four Questions

The Four Questions Are Back, so Our National Nightmare Is Over

What is Dave wearing today? Dave is currently wearing gray sweatpants, a Star Wars T-shirt, and Basquiat socks.

How does Dave feel today? Dave is quite excited.

What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood today? Dave is relaunching The Daily Dave, just for the hell of it. Today, more than ever, the world needs to know what Dave is thinking.

What has changed since the last time The Daily Dave was published? Dave lost a ton of weight, adopted a second dog, grew a pornstache, and ran four 10Ks. I think that brings everyone up to date.

Categories
Whatnot

Welcome Back From This Basic Bitch

10 PRINT “HELLO WORLD (AGAIN)”
20 GOTO 10